[Hey, You!] What a Wickhead
To the hipster-artist scum whose party I attended: I'm sure for you and your ilk that using the tall, saint-adorned votive candles as decorations is a cool and ironic comment about how unreligious you are and that you probably think that those of us who do pray to the saints for divine intervention are idiots or Mexicans. And so I say this: Holy Mother, please inflict your divine vengeance on these people who dare profane Your wax with their pretension and arrogance. Queen of Heaven, gentrify these fools out of Orange County. O Immaculate One, blessed are you amongst women, for you will fuck those hipsters over with Hell.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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