[Hey, You!] U-Idiot
You’re the thirtysomething man driving your company’s work truck. Seeing as how you’re actually paid to drive, I’m surprised you don’t know that a U-turn isn’t made by making a right, a mini U-turn, then a left. Here’s some more advice: Don’t do that with your eyes focused on mine, especially because I’m a beautiful, underage girl. In conclusion? You’re an idiot! Seriously! Who gets T-boned because they’re checking out a chick (a young girl at that!) while making a blatantly negligent U-turn? You did not take your eyes off me the entire time you made that U-turn—which was a stupid way to make a U-turn, which even I know, even though I’ve never learned how to drive! I considered stopping to help, but it would’ve been awkward. Plus, you might not want to know just how young I am.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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