Actually, I am not even sure who you are, but if you are reading this and you lost a $10 bill at the District in Tustin on Jan. 17, I just want you to take comfort in knowing that your money ultimately went to a good cause: to support the victims of the Haiti earthquake. I say “ultimately” because at first I really didn’t want to hold on to this “found” money, so I used the cash to pay for my lunch. Immediately thereafter, I used my cell phone and texted “Haiti” to 90999. In this way, a donation of $10 will automatically be sent to the American Red Cross, which, as I understand it, is a method backed by the U.S. State Department. So thank you for your kindness and generosity. Your money was not lost at all.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at email@example.com.