Talk about instant karma: I was driving to work, waiting for the light to turn green. It did, but as I let go of the brakes, I had to slam on ’em because you—you dumb, shaved-head cholo—ran a red light on your bicycle. I honked; you mad-dogged me. But while you were so busy trying to act badass, you failed to notice the curb right in front of you. BLAM! Off you flew into the sky, falling face-first into the pavement while your bike flipped into the air a good 6 feet. I saw you about 15 minutes later, holding onto your shoulder like the little pendejo that you are.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at email@example.com.