[Hey, You!] Circular Jerkfest
I’m the 17-year-old who was, admittedly, messing with my little brother in an ice-cream shop. You’re the thirtysomething “jerk” who decided to teach me a lesson by returning the favor and pushing me on your walk out, causing me to drop my ice cream on the floor. I admit, I did deserve you staring me down and saying, “Don’t be a jerk.” The saddest part is that when you left in a hurry after knocking it down, I was the bigger, more mature man, and all I could come up with was a “Thank you, sir.” Thank you, sir, indeed for teaching my 11-year-old brother how to deal with strangers when they make a temporary lapse in judgement. Also, I wanted to pump my fist at you or flip you off (typical angry teenager stuff), but my mother was in the car right next to you when you fled from a 17-year-old boy. Thank you to the workers who offered me another cone after that embarrassing scene for all of us. I’m sorry you had to see that.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to “Hey, You!” c/o OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or e-mail us at email@example.com.
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