I am the nameless barista that "screwed up" your half-decaf, extra foam cappuccino by accidentally using milk that was 150 degrees instead of the 180 degrees you requested. After yelling that I was "not worth your time," you stormed out. The next day you flirted with me when I was working the register, gave me a $5 tip and walked out with a smile. I'm still not sure why the sudden change of manners; maybe because I looked better on day two? Maybe because a guy made your drink that time? Maybe you're a bipolar Nazi? But the next time you order your temperature-specific, half-decaf, extra-foam cappuccino, keep in mind that you've singled yourself out from the hundreds of coffee drinkers we get daily. We all know your order now. The next time you pass by, think twice about what you really want in your cup o' joe.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.