Illustration by Bob Aul
Illustration by Bob Aul

Hey, You!

It's been a while since I was your underling in the post-closing department at that big mortgage company in Anaheim. It was bad enough that you were an annoying, confusing, condescending, pretentious, mediocre managerial moron when I was there. But since I left, I've heard that you became even more tyrannical and weird. You gave out confusing instructions and gobbledygook explanations and badgered your subordinates constantly with various obnoxious requests and demands. For instance, you harassed my friend by demanding she adhere to a two-minute limit on personal conversations after she discussed a work-related matter with a co-worker. You were especially vigilant about this rule when the conversations were in Spanish. Being the good Catholic that you are, you took it upon yourself to warn a male employee to avoid premarital sex with his fiance. Your employees hate you. They've complained to human resources, to no avail. One has even hired a lawyer. Your day of reckoning is coming. Religion is good for good people. Doesn't apply to you, bitch!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701-7417, or e-mail us at


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