Hey, You!

You were the person who called the cops on me and my buddies visiting from Florida. One of them has a 3-year-old kid, and we gave him and the wife a day off from child-rearing. We were eating at a Chinese restaurant while his daughter was napping in her stroller when, two bites into our meal, the police and Child Protective Services folks showed up and asked for our IDs. They said they had a report that four suspicious men with tattoos and black clothes were hanging around with a potentially abducted child. Not satisfied with our explanation, the cop wakes up the kid and asks her to say my name. She's three fucking years old! All she knows are words like "box." Finally, we cleared up the situation and, of course, the cop was just doing his job. But what about you? There was only one other person in the restaurant that day. Thanks for not minding your own business, wasting the time of the police, and ruining our day by giving us a toddler who, deprived of her nap, spent the next few hours crying. Thanks for nothing!

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