Guilty Pleasures

701 Two words: corporate babes.

702 Best gangbang: OC freeway construction.

703 Compensation: the fun of guessing how long your favorite offramps and onramps will be closed.

704 "Dictum."

705 "Grand Dictum," heh, heh.

706 The quiet at Rockreation Sport Climbing Center. No loud music, nothing in decibel or attitude that resembles a Mountain Dew commercial. Just quiet concentration. Now there's an alternative sport. 1300 Logan Ave., Costa Mesa, (714) 556-7625.

707 Ditto ClimbX Indoor Rock Climbing Facility in Huntington Beach. >18411 Gothard St., Ste. 1, Huntington Beach, (714) 843-9919.

708 Once a year, heroic goats devour growth in Laguna Canyon, reducing risk of wildfire.

709 The master's program in exhibition design at Cal State Fullerton: one of only two such programs in the country.

710 The Vanssneaker-manufacturing plant in Orange . . . oh, yeah, that's not there anymore.

711 A Tropical Bullat the Irisher, Seal Beach's classiest dive, which is constantly concocting new summery drinks just for general "entertainment, kicks and grins." This one's Tropico (mango-flavored Bacardi) in a shot glass dropped in a cocktail glass filled with Red Bull, an energy drink. >121 Main St., Seal Beach, (562) 596-1427.

712 Mulch.

713 Much mulch.

714 The Googie grandeur of the Parasol restaurant, built in 1962. >12241 Seal Beach Blvd., Seal Beach, (562) 598-3311.

715 Patrick D. Kelly, longtime union-organizer extrordinaire, now president of TeamstersLocal 952 in Orange.

716 The gay caballero mannequins, done up in sweetly sinister goatees and too-tight jeans, cavorting in the display windows at Zapateria Juanaguato. >303 Bristol, Santa Ana, (714) 541-6474.

717 Mucho mulcho.

718 Really, a tremendous amount of mulch.

719 The fact that Holy Jim-the canyon, falls and trail near Santiago Peak-are named after early canyon resident James T. Smith, a beekeeper whose real nickname was Cussin' Jim. Other names later deleted by delicate cartographers included Lyin' Jimand Greasy Jim Canyon.

720 Experiencing Dungeons & Dragons geek nirvana at the Game Castle. >2514 E. Chapman Ave., Fullerton, (714) 871-5800.

721-790 Each of the 70 home runs hit by Huntington Harbour's Mark McGwire in 1998.

791The self-important "u" in Huntington Harbour.

792 McGwire remaining the county's best baseball player despite having an off yearin 1999. Sixty-five home runs? Mark, what aren't you taking?

793 Sprack.

794The photo of Dana Rohrabacher on his official congressional Web site: the virile Republican wading out of the surf, his longboard clutched under his arm, water dripping from his beard and running in tender rivulets down his skin-tight wet suit . . . I'm sorry, I get chills just thinking about it.

795 Floors so cleanyou could see yourself eating off them at the John Wayne Airport (JWA).

796 Scanning the food court menu at JWA and considering exactly what you'd be eating off those floors.

797 Realizing that clean floors do not a healthy meal make at JWA.

798 The stunning views from Emerald Vista Point while riding your bike along the 3.5-mile stretch of Pacific Coast Highway between Corona del Mar and Laguna Beach.

799 Prospect of a tidal wave washing away most Ruby'sat the Balboa Pier.

800 The words "Waste Please" written on Disneyland trash cans.


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