In front of the AMC multiplex at The Block, they've erected a security gate, with warnings of guard dogs. It looks forbidding, until you read the name on the columns that border it: "Fort Fridge." Beyond the chainlink fencing lies a plexiglass box, inside of which is another plexiglass box, and inside of that is a big frosted glass. The idea, apparently, is that this fortress guards the last glass of milk on Earth.
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The way to defend this glass is to put one hand on the box and keep it there longer than any others. In other words, this is a variation on the "Hands on a Hard Body" contest immortalized in a 1997 documentary feature by S.R. Bindler, a fictionalized version of which was to have been Robert Altman's next film at the time of his death. Of course, there's something just a little less macho-sounding about mallrats in white T-shirts competing for a cash prize when compared to good ol' boys challenging one another for a truck. But make no mistake, this won't be easy for the contestants. For those who want to stop by and point fingers, however, it'll be hilarious.
The contest is going for five days, if the contestants last that long ("got milk" trivia questions will be used to break the tie . . . wanna bet the answer to one of them is "Aaron Burr"?). They get a six-hour sleep break the first night, five the next, and so on . . . an ex-Marine in Fresno managed to last 49 hours, but nobody in this crowd looks like a military veteran—at least half don't even look like they could walk a mile without a break. After five days, though, even in a fridge, will that last glass of milk be tasty? It wouldn't in my fridge.
We'll be checking in on the contest from time to time, if these folks can last it out. Stay tuned.
(Also, don't eat at Koji Sushi while you're there. Service there was atrocious today.)