I've asked you nicely before, and I'll ask you again: Give me back my porn. Yes, I can go on Tube8, Brazzers or even XTube to get my fix of threesomes, anals, DPs and more Alexis Texas than anyone ever needs to see. But give me back my porn! The magazines I gave you are vintage Playboys, Hustlers, vintage 1950s porno, even the random Oui and Juggs—and they are irreplaceable. Thank you, and there had better not be any mysterious stains on them when I get them back.
