Fullerton Thief with real Modest(o) "Low Expectations"*

Wall Street rogue or just opportunistic, minor-league thief, there’s such a thing as setting your sights too high. There’s also setting them too low. . .like WAY too low.

Fullerton police are reporting that a computer hard drive, stolen from Systematic Automation Inc., a local data processing outfit, contains the names, addresses, birth dates and Social Security numbers of 3,500 people.

Not residents of upscale, bazillionaire Villa Park, mind you. Not even Anaheim Hills, Irvine, San Clemente, Yorba Linda or even Orange. No. What vanished was the personal info on. . .city school employees in Modesto.

Modesto, fer chrissake. City school employees.

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Modesto - the city with the highest car-theft-per-capita rate in the entire U.S. in ‘05 and ’06. (Dropping to a most-reasonable fifth in 2007. . .you just know the Chamber of Commerce trumpeted THAT accomplishment.) The city with some of the worst air quality in the nation, surpassing even L.A.

Modesto - the city commonly known until the 1930s as the "Filth Capital of California" due to the abundance of saloons, brothels, opium houses and "wild west" atmosphere. A city where there are still only two kinds of music – country and western (see below).

Modesto - the city whose greatest claim to fame is that, uh, Harve Presnell was born there. The city where a McMansion is a late-model ultra-wide.

Good luck scamming a few bucks with those dummied-up IDs, pal. What’s the next target? Fast-food workers in Buena Park?

(*Daryle Singletary, "I'm Living Up to Her Low Expectations.")

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