Crime scene
Crime scene

Freeze, Punk! It's OC's Crime-y State Beaches

Four of the six most crime-infested state parks are in Orange County, and each is a state beach.

Oceano Dunes State Vehicular Recreation Area near Pismo Beach logged by far the highest number of crime calls in 2009 with nearly 6,000. Lake Perris State Recreation Area near Riverside had nearly twice fewer crimes, but they were still enough to land at No. 2.

What follows is a breakdown of the OC state beaches that took spots 3-6 for being the most crime-y . . .

(But first, credit for compiling the crime stats goes to reporters from McClatchy Newspapers' five California pubs. Sacramento Bee, Modesto Bee, Fresno Bee, Merced Sun-Star and San Luis Obispo Tribune journos crunched the numbers after looking at California Department of Parks and Recreation data.)

Huntington State Beach
Freeze, Punk! It's OC's Crime-y State Beaches

Location: The two miles of sand from Beach Boulevard in Huntington Beach south to the Santa Ana River on the Newport Beach boundary.
Known For: Being a nesting sanctuary for the threatened snowy plover and the rare and endangered California least tern; a ripping bicycle trail; rows of raging bonfires; being crowded as hell on weekends; experiencing the largest single-year rise in crime among state parks (40 percent!).
'09 Reported Crimes: 2,298.
Semi-Serious Nature of These Offenses: Possessing liquor; being drunk on this liquor; underage drinking of liquor; liquor, liquor, liquor; liquor? I hardly knew her!; pot possession; pot smoking; pot, pot, pot; pointing laser devices at snoopy police 'copters; failure to put sunscreen on that skinhead; just generally being all bro-y.

Bolsa Chica State Beach
Freeze, Punk! It's OC's Crime-y State Beaches

Location: Three miles of sand from Sunset Beach to Seapoint Avenue.
Known For: Surf fishing for perch, corbina, croaker, cabezon and sand shark; bare-handed fishing for California grunion; leaving the beach with smelly hands because you were just bare-handed fishing for California grunion; watching birds; birds watching people; Corky Carroll's lame-ass surf camp.
'09 Instances of Reported Mayhem: 2,219.
Not-Quite-Totally-Accurate Reason for These Busts: Drunken driving; crashing car into beach structures and being drunk while doing so; crashing car into beach structures and being reckless while doing so; starting a beach brawl because Mario stole your backward baseball cap; fucking with pelicans; fucking pelicans.

San Clemente State Beach
Freeze, Punk! It's OC's Crime-y State Beaches

Location: Basically the south end of the city of San Clemente that hugs a mile of the coast.
Known For: Some of the best surfing anywhere; one of the best camping areas in all of Orange County; following up visits with trips to the chiropractor after having lugged all that crap down the endless steps to the beach. We had to bring the TV set? Really?
'09 Reports of Lawlessness: 2,006.
If You Don't Fact-Check Each of These, Then It's All True: Trespassing; multiple instances of  illicit sex that was usually made possible through a Craigslist hook-up; causing beach brawls because the chick who responded to your Craigslist ad had a dick; frantically fleeing pursuing Border Patrol officers; singing Christian songs around the campfire off key.

Doheny State Beach
Freeze, Punk! It's OC's Crime-y State Beaches

Location: At Del Obispo/Dana Harbor Drive, about a mile north of the 5 freeway.
Known For: Camping on the south end; day use on the north end; picnics on the grass; picnics on grass; volleyball death matches; surfing (north end only); surf fishing (hopefully no one's actually eating their catches, which give new meaning to the species "crappie").
'09 Reported Bustables: 1,710.
Hey, Why You Flashing That Badge, Kinda-Sorta Seriously: Trespassing; poaching pick-a-nick baskets; poaching spiny lobsters; picking illegally poached spiny out from between teeth; feeding the needy without a permit (true!); mowing the lawn without a permit (false!); burning fatties to cover up the sewage stench; bogarting said fatty.


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