Illustration by Bob AulI recently made the terrible mistake of eating at a Carl's Jr. near a high school at lunch time. Although annoyed by the constant laughter, I was glad to see that at least someone was having a good time. My unfortunate choice of tables made me privy to the following exchange between two 16-year-old girls who, for convenience's sake, will be called "Tiffany" and "Amber":
Tiffany: Oh, my gosh, my brother should get stomach bypass surgery, you know, where they staple your stomach shut? He's fat. Amber: Yeah. You know who has a big ass? Dave. Not fat; just big. It really bothers me. Tiffany [while chomping on a Double Western Cheeseburger]: Oh, my gosh, I hate big butts! Fat butts are worse, though. Amber: Yeah. . . . Oh, my gosh, there's Brad!
They never used the Lord's name in vain. That would be offensive. Their parents should be proud.
Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations—changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent—to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us at email@example.com.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss OC Weekly's biggest stories. Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts