As the U.S. Supreme Court holds a session on gay marriage for the second straight day, everyone is weighing in on the controversial issue, even those who regularly foist onto the public phony news.
And at least one fake newsie has once again latched onto a local muse, Erwin Chemerinsky, the dean of the UC Irvine School of Law and a nationally recognized constitutional law expert.
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Perhaps Kissing Suzy Kolber on Uproxx.com took its cue from the leading fake news site in the land, The Onion, which had put words in Chemerinsky's mouth for its January report, “Supreme Court Overturns 'Right v. Wrong.'”
Actually, that one could apply to the same-sex marriage debate, as it has a conservative majority overturning the two centuries old legal precedent that right trumps wrong, in a case titled, appropriately enough, Right v. Wrong. From the Onionistas:
“It is the opinion of this court that the Constitution was crafted in such a manner as to uphold and encourage practices that are not right and, ideally, are very wrong,” Justice Antonin Scalia wrote for the majority, which also included Justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, Anthony Kennedy, and John Roberts. “Despite the compelling case for goodness, truth, and justice made by our predecessors in the case of Right v. Wrong, we firmly believe that malice, dishonesty, and injustice were the framers' original intent.”
Later:
“If you look at the current makeup of the court, the verdict is hardly surprising,” said law professor Erwin Chemerinsky, adding that given recent decisions to permit unlimited corporate spending in electoral politics, crack down on civil liberties, and allow the execution of Troy Davis to proceed, he believed the justices had been angling to do away with Right for some time. “It's long been clear Roberts and Alito were in the camp favoring wrong, and Scalia's passionate criticism of the Right decision almost certainly swayed Justice Kennedy.”
“As for Justice Thomas, he was practically asleep when the attorneys representing Good gave their oral arguments,” Chemerinsky added. “In terms of his job, that was definitely the wrong thing to do, so he made it pretty clear which side he was on.”
The constitutional law scholar gets a much more bizarre turn on Kissing Suzy Kolber . . .
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Writer Bobby Bigwheel includes Chemerinsky as a guest on the fantasy talk show Gruden Talk, starring NFL coach-turned-Monday Night Football color commentator Jon Gruden and his sidekick and band leader, ex-NFL coach and in-studio ESPN football analyst Herm Edwards.
A sample of the nuttiness:
Jon: SO SHOOT US STRAIGHT, ERWIN, HOW'S THE SUPREME COURT GONNA RULE ON THIS ONE?
Erwin: Well if you look at previous cases like Romer v. Evans and Lawrence v. Texas it's actually quite conceivable that the Court would rule against the ban. Justice Kennedy wants to be on the right side of history on this.
Jon: THAT'D BE GREAT IF THEY WERE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE HISTORY. THAT'S WHY THE NFL JUST BANNED THE TUCK RULE; THEY KNOW THAT I SHOULD'VE MADE THE SUPER BOWL.
Click here for the entire post–and make sure to leave a link in our comments if you find our esteemed Orange County academics in any more phony baloney reports. (Present company excluded, of course.)
Those scholars not a-steamed are welcome, too.
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OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.