Don't Look Now

Bob Aul

I saw you driving in the righthand lane, about to exit the 91 East onto Lakeview Avenue. Except you must have realized it was the wrong exit because instead of going right, you just continued straight and began driving on the shoulder. This is fine. I know we all have moments of realizing we're going the wrong way, and then make a dangerous maneuver to get back on track. But you just kept driving on the shoulder—one that is being worked on every night to expand the freeway and is covered in road-construction signs, cones and traffic delineators. I was driving in the actual righthand lane, and my confusion turned to panic as you continued on the shoulder, knocking over a sign and running over a cone without any braking or swerving. Did you fall asleep at the wheel?! Were you really into a text message? You eventually ran over a tall orange post and sent it flying in front of my car. I had to swerve out of my lane to not hit it! Apparently, this woke you up enough to realize you should merge onto the actual freeway. When my ridiculous encounter with you finally came to an end, I noticed your license plate: DONTLUK.

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