December 6, 2010 | 10:35am
Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is bringing his comedy tour to the Richard Nixon Library tonight. Or maybe he's being honored for something. Or maybe it's part of his book tour.
Whatever it may be that is bringing him to O.C., we're hoping he'll grace the audience with a few of his better known Rumsfeldisms--for instance, "I believe what I said yesterday, I don't know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it's what I said."
It's the least he could do, considering the cost of attendance is a minimum of $500. And that's just to have dinner. If you want to have the chance to meet him, the price is doubled. No one is expected to be forced to stand for the duration of the event.
One thousand dollars may seem a steep price to pay for some facetime, but it's a hell of a deal compared with the "Premium Seating Package," which includes two seats at the head table with Rumsfeld (former vice president Dick Cheney was supposed to be at the table as well, but he had to cancel), a table seating ten with a "premiere location," and tickets to the VIP reception, which will run you $25,000.
Recession, you say, what Recession?!
In all truth, the event is being held to honor Rumsfeld
, who is being presented the Richard Nixon Foundation's Victory of Freedom award. We have no idea what that means, but it sounds promising, if peculiar. Really, Victory of Freedom? Whoever is handing out the hardware does know this is the same Secretary of Defense who's tenure was tied to the torture of detainees at Guantanamo Bay, right? This is the guy Salon.com labeled the "Architect of terror."
If anything, this award may help some forget that he was once forced (okay, so maybe he chose to resign, but it certainly seems that a few disapproving former military heads had some impact) to resign as Secretary of State under President George W. Bush in 2006. And it should help promotions for his soon to be released memoir, Known and Unknown.
Past "winners" include Secretary of State George Shultz and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs-of-Staff Richard Myers.
And if you're curious what else is going on with the 78-year-old Rumsfeld, he's now a functioning member of the Twitter community (@RumsfeldOffice
). In fact, he's offering his 3,000th follower a copy of his new book. As of the time of this posting, he was at 2,833. Oops, somehow that number dropped in the span of minutes to 2,821. I guess not everyone likes his Tweets, which include the occasional #rumsfeldrule.