A man using crutches but holding a gun still failed at carjacking. A motorist threw hot coffee on a bicyclist. Before he lost his wig and shoes, a man tried to steal a Nintendo game from a Laguna Beach hotel room. A man sitting in a restaurant issued death threats. A burglar stole only syringes from a business. Someone threw a brick through a window and struck a man in the head. A store employee choked a customer. A man used a flashlight to provoke a neighbor's dog into a frenzy. Three men broke into an Irvine residence, blindfolded the homeowner and stole a watch, wallet, TV and coin collection. A man and a woman hit a resident in the head with a shovel and were arrested. Older boys restrained a nine-year-old boy and forced him to smoke dope. Someone keyed a BMW and then covered the car with whipped cream. A Coto de Caza woman called police because her roommate whacked her in the face with a pillow. A gun was found in the sand at Main Beach in Laguna. A man loitering at a Rite-Aid attempted to steal a bottle of booze, but was caught because he loitered so long. Juveniles in a vehicle threw water balloons at unsuspecting people. A woman cracked a beer bottle on another bar patron's head. Three male Newport Beach juveniles climbed trees to spy into residential bedrooms. A disoriented woman crawled on the sidewalk in front of a store. Someone threw a rock off a bridge and shattered the windshield of a passing vehicle. A man driving on El Toro Road exposed his dick to other motorists. Someone grabbed a $3,000 piece of art in a Laguna Beach gallery and walked out. A 28-year-old man in San Clemente sat in the bushes beside a restaurant and screamed until he was arrested. An arsonist set a trash dumpster on fire. Prostitutes on Newport and Harbor boulevards were unable to satisfy Orange County's unsatisfied men because of police detentions. An unknown man on Balboa Island entered a resident's bedroom at 1:25 a.m., stayed for three seconds, and left without saying or taking anything. Two men stole cement from a construction site. Police arrested a Mexican national for "suspicion of sleeping in a vehicle." Witnesses watched a man crawl on the ground around a trash dumpster. Someone threw a glass at a guest inside a restaurant. Juveniles on a balcony attempted to shoot people with a pellet gun. A bouncer at a bar punched a patron in the face. Two men sitting on a private beach got tickets for smoking pot. A man was found semi-nude. Urinating. In public. Before lunch. On a weekday. Bandits stole a boat in Huntington Beach. A pharmacy manager chased a female thief into the parking lot and was almost run over during her getaway. Two crooks with stolen ATM cards and PIN numbers nabbed almost $9,000. A parolee struck his girlfriend and won a free trip home. Security at an electronic's store observed a customer frantically opening boxes with a razor blade. Someone fired several gunshots in a Mission Viejo neighborhood. A teenager exposed himself in front of busy shop. An employee told his colleagues that he admired the Virginia Tech massacre gunman and was fired. Two transients camping on the side of the road engaged in sexual foreplay.

--culled from recent Orange County crime reports.


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