DEAR MEXICAN: I was wondering if you could shed some light on the debate over whether 29 percent of Mexican/Hispanic voters really voted for Trump, or whether it was much less, as other polls show?
The Poll y Voces
DEAR GABACHO: Exit polls are like the PRI—full of shit, full of money, and incredibly pendejo yet dangerous. But I've been mucho amused by Latino organizations, political scientists and all Trump-haters attacking exit polls that showed nearly a third of Latinos going for Cheeto Dick. Instead, they've pushed their numbers, which unsurprisingly show raza voting for Hillary Clinton in overwhelming numbers against Donald Trump. It really doesn't matter: The point is that not enough of us went out to vote against Trump, and more than a few Mexicans voted for him for reasons I've stated in this columna—we like strongmen, the more macho the better. Even more important, a lot of Mexicans didn't vote for Hillary for reasons ranging from her being a mujer to her pathetic Hispandering to her being a Clinton to her uninspiring platform to her being the worst lesser-of-two-evils since the days music fans had to pick between Thalia and Paulina Rubio. Latino yaktivists need to acknowledge we're not all knee-jerk libs, and that's okay. Oh, and #fucktrump.
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DEAR MEXICAN: I wrestled in high school (badly) and have always had a love-hate relationship with professional wrestling. On the one hand, I love the sport, but I hate what they have done to it with all the scripted outcomes and over-the-top clown-show antics. That said, the wrestlers do some amazing performances and make real sacrifices of their bodies (not to mention their personal lives, as with any type of performing entertainer). Luchadores, however, are sheer brilliance. While they have their share of hamming it up, their performances are like a testosterone-fueled ballet. Even if you don't find the whole mascara culture fun (hey, who doesn't want to be a superhero?), it's impossible to ignore the amazing, high-flying gymnastics these guys put on. While I am happy that Rey Mysterio found popularity in the U.S., I am concerned the WWE may screw up a good thing with the popularity of the rudos. Can you help?
Viva Lucha Libre!
DEAR GABACHO: I gotta admit, I haven't religiously followed pro wrestling since the time Stone Cold Steve Austin made Kurt Angle wear a tiny tejana. So I asked my cousin, who said that WWE Smackdown Live had a recent story line in its women's division that a masked wrestler going by La Luchadora sneaks into matches to raise desmadre. That's not surprising, given lucha libre masks are now a given at nearly every sporting event in the United States thanks to Nacho Libre and Rey Mysterio, who's past my time but is apparently a chingón of some sorts. Cultural appropriation? Nah, gabachos just trying to hide their feo faces.