Crystal Cathedral Gets New Name, God Doesn't Really Care

So the big news in Godburg over the weekend was that the Crystal Cathedral, the once-hallowed home of Schuller family shenanigans, has officially been renamed Christ Cathedral.

Why it took months to drop three letters and add two others is anyone's guess, but as a "Wheel of Fortune" fan, I've seen worse performances.

The Roman Catholic Diocese of Orange bought the Garden Grove property in November for $57.5 million and solicited name suggestions from parishioners from all over the world. The remnant of Crystal Cathedral attendees is planning to move to nearby St. Callistus Catholic Church.

This whole mess could've been avoided if the Crystal Cathedral had gone to corporations for naming rights. Hell, I'd drop a tithe at the Doritos Cool Ranch Crystal Cathedral and watch a Schuller preach from the Pepsi pulpit.

Anyway, Rev. Christopher Smith, who is taking over Christ Cathedral, told the Los Angeles Times that Robert Schuller always had Jesus in mind when conceptualizing the Crystal Cathedral, "and now, as it turns out, the cathedral is going to be named Christ Cathedral."

In a telephone interview, the Apostle Paul, a spokesman for God, quoted himself when he said, "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands."

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