We call this collage "Robberies, Solved and Unsolved." Top left: a man hands a teller a note demanding cash at Chase Bank in Orange. Top right: Booking photo of Adam J. Bennett, 20, of Santa Ana, who is suspected of robbing $700 from a Mission Viejo Wells Fargo on July 27. Bottom left and right: Surveillance photos from armed robbery that occurred around 9:30 p.m. Aug. 7 at the Orange Olive Mini Market in Orange.
We call this collage "Robberies, Solved and Unsolved." Top left: a man hands a teller a note demanding cash at Chase Bank in Orange. Top right: Booking photo of Adam J. Bennett, 20, of Santa Ana, who is suspected of robbing $700 from a Mission Viejo Wells Fargo on July 27. Bottom left and right: Surveillance photos from armed robbery that occurred around 9:30 p.m. Aug. 7 at the Orange Olive Mini Market in Orange.
Courtesy of Orange Police Department and Orange County Sheriff's Department

Crime Time: Nekkid Folks, Robber Baby, Strip-Club Stabbers, Loaded Brownie and a Flaming Bag of Poo

It's the Weekly's weekly round-up of local police calls--now with more nekkidness, racist graffiti, robber babies, loaded brownies and flaming bags of poo! MONDAY, AUG. 10

Giving New Meaning to Heat Comes Down on You A security guard at the Coronado apartments at 1700 E. 16th St., Newport Beach, came upon a man carrying a 42-inch plasma TV out of an apartment shortly after 2 a.m. This forced the would-be burglar back into the unit, where he locked the door. Police arrived soon after to find two men jumping off a second-story balcony and running off. A police helicopter using a heat scanner later found the man suspected of trying to carry the TV away. He was identified as Brian Patrick Havens, 33. His partner apparently fractured his leg in the balcony jump. He was identified as Timothy Aubrey, 28. Police later arrested two others in connection with the attempted burglary: Beau Aubrey, 18, of Santa Ana, and Saisha Miranda, 29, of Huntington Beach. The unit's previous occupants had moved out, and the TV belonged to a rental company, according to police.

Shoulda Ordered the Veal Instead Sheriff's deputies discovered a man in the 600 block of Avenida Victoria in San Clemente just before 5 a.m. complaining of stomach pains. He'd allegedly chowed down on a brownie fortified with marijuana.

Spiffy Thieves A woman returned to her home on Fulton Road in Irvine just after noon Monday to discover a burglary in progress. One burglar was standing lookout in her yard, while a second came out of her house carrying a bag. Dressed for success in long-sleeve dress shirts, slacks and dress shoes, the pair drove off in a white compact car. Taking inventory, the victim discovered they had lifted between $10,000-$15,000 in jewelry.

Late Night Rapist A 59-year-old woman was home alone on her couch watching television in the 2200 block of East Briarvale Avenue, Anaheim, about 10:45 p.m. when a man wielding a knife and wearing a bandana to cover his face came in from her open back door. He threatened to stab her before raping her, at times putting a pillow over her face. He then asked where her purse was, stole her cash and threatened to kill her if she called police. He then fled out the back door. Anaheim Police officers searched the area and developed clues that led them to arrest Dexter Tagudin Villanueva, 44, at his Anaheim home. The District Attorney's Office later filed six felony counts against Villanueva that carry a maximum combined sentence of 91 years to life in state prison. He was being held in lieu of $1 million bail.


One-Man Wrecking Crew A blue Ford Mustang struck two parked cars at Pearl Drive and Sapphire Road in Fullerton shortly after midnight. Police officers arrived to find the unoccupied Mustang parked nearby. A passerby in the 3000 block of Pearl Drive reported he was robbed of his cell phone around the same time. A different officer investigating that crime heard the hit-and-run call on his radio, put two and two together and launched a search of the area that turned up a man who was allegedly hiding nearby. Edger Perez, 27, of Pomona, was arrested on suspicion of robbery, DUI, hit-and-run and driving with a suspended license.

Pot Shots Sheriff's deputies responded to an alarm at the Lake Forest Alternative Center, a medical marijuana dispensary in the 22400 block of Aspan Street, around 5 a.m. Shortly thereafter the alarm sounded at a second medical marijuana dispensary less than a mile away. Like the first, the Health and Wellness Center in the 23000 block of Lake Center Drive, Lake Forest, had broken windows. It was unclear if anything (including a half-eaten brownie) was taken.

White-Gloved Robbers Two men wearing white gloves and hoods walked into Citibank at Kraemer Boulevard and Morse Avenue in Placentia around 10 a.m. At least one man had a gun, possibly a 9 mm. After demanding money, the pair split with an undisclosed amount of cash. They were seen driving off in a white Toyota Camry that police later recovered--without the bank robbers inside.

The Joker IS Wild The Sheriff's Department received a call just before 11 a.m. from Nicole Guymon, who said her husband had tried to commit suicide. This would not have required a heavy response to Guymon's Lae Forest home were it not for her hubby's identity. He's mixed martial arts fighter Mike "Joker" Guymon, who holds the King of the Cage Welterweight title and runs Joker's Wild Fighting Academy in town. The couple apparently had a fight, the usually smiling Mike Guymon became distraught and at one point he whipped out a gun, although his wife managed to get it from him. He later drove off in his SUV, but deputies pulled him over at a gas station parking lot near Lake Forest Drive and Regency Lane. The 34-year-old refused to come out of his vehicle, which deputies had surrounded. At the same time, Lt. Jim Amormino, who is a friend of Guymon's and the Sheriff's Department spokesman, was speaking on the fighter's cell phone, telling him his family and friends were worried and begging him to surrender. But Guymon allegedly told Amormino he wanted the deputies to shoot him. When Amormino asked if Guymon would come out for him, he agreed, saying he would never hurt his friend. Guymon gave up without incident, was handcuffed and taken to a Santa Ana psychiatric hospital for evaluation.


Hey, That's Clockwork's Branch! A man walked into the Wells Fargo branch on Harbor Boulevard and Baker Street in Costa Mesa just after 10:15 a.m., handed a teller a note demanding money and left with some cash. No getaway vehicle was seen and only a vague description of the robber was given. (And, no, he wasn't me! Why are you looking at me like that?)

Thieving Peter Pan Complex A man on a BMX bike tried to take a purse from someone in the Tustin Parc complex in the 16200 block of Main Street in Tustin some time before 5:30 p.m. But the would-be snatcher failed. He was wearing dark shorts and a white shirt. He was also described as being 30 to 40, which means he was much too old to be riding a BMX bike.


On the Pipe Someone who rented a car in Los Angeles dropped it off at John Wayne Airport but reported having heard a clanging noise from the engine department. The car was taken to Vanguard Rent A Car at 4361 Birch St., Newport Beach, for inspection. Mechanics discovered a device resembling a pipe bomb and called 9-1-1 around 11 a.m. The police bomb squad responded but did not think the pipe was a explosive, something their own robot device later confirmed. It was unclear why anyone would stick the pipe in the engine compartment.

The Adjustment He Needs is in Attitude A man walked into Blakemore California Chiropractic, 159 N. Raymond Ave., Fullerton, shortly before noon and pointed a blue-steel revolver at the receptionist. He then demanded money and fled with an unknown amount. He was described as white, unshaven, between 30 and 40, 6 feet, 180 pounds with blue eyes and blond and gray shoulder-length hair. Refreshingly, no report of a BMX bike, though.

This is Why You Don't Get Roommates Off Craigslist A woman who lives in the 16800 block of Lynn Street in Huntington Beach called police at 12:26 p.m. to report her roommate had put paint thinner in her shampoo and it burned her.

Am Told It Must've Been a Cold Afternoon A man decided to walk around without his clothes on at the Alders apartment complex in the 15600 block of Williams Street in Tustin. This proved most distressing to other tenants, who called police around 12:30 p.m. Officers later confronted the man and essentially asked, "Whassup?" Getting dressed, he allegedly explained he'd been taking a piss. Cops took the piss out of 36-year-old Raymond Albert Copas, arresting him on suspicion of indecent exposure.  


Topless-Bar Pin Cushions Two men in their 20s were standing in the parking lot of the topless California Girls bar at 815 S. Brookhurst St., Anaheim, around 2 a.m. when four men walked up, stabbed them, jumped into what was possibly a Nissan and drove off. The victims--a 25-year-old man from Stanton and a 22-year-old man from Santa Ana--did not even get a good look at them, not that they were exactly that cooperative with police (to hear the police tell it). The pair was taken to UCI Medical Center for treatment of non-life-threatening stab wounds.

Even the Dump Gets Hit Burglars broke the lock off the front gate of Olinda Alpha Landfill, 1942 North Valencia Ave., Brea, in the early morning hours before making off with tools, heavy-duty equipment and two county vehicles--a 15-passenger van and F-350 pickup truck. All tolled the haul was valued at more than $100,000. An employee arriving around 5 a.m. discovered the landfill had been hit and called police.


Ironically, It Was Probably a Raiders Fan A caller told police around 8:30 a.m. that someone removed four tickets to a San Francisco 49ers game from an unlocked desk drawer at his business in the 19100 block of Beach Boulevard in Huntington Beach. The passes were valued at more than $800. Of course, they would have been $2,400 if this was the Joe Montana era.

Sweet Dreams Become Nightmare A man sleeping on a couch in the backyard of a residence in the 200 block of South Derek Drive in Fullerton around 9:45 a.m. was struck in the face with a large wooden stick. The victim was taken to UCI Medical Center, where he was listed in serious condition. Meanwhile, a witness to the attack called police to say two men had been drinking before one of the men struck the sleeping man. That (and more, obviously) led police to railroad tracks near the 57 freeway, where they arrested Arturo Valverde, age and residence unknown, on suspicion of attempted murder.

Textbook Way to Avoid an (Alleged) Snatcher A man driving a Lexus approached a 10-year-old girl who was tossing out trash behind her apartment complex in the 9900 block of Broadway Street in an unincorporated area of Anaheim around 3 p.m. He asked the girl if she knew a certain female. The girl replied no and started to walk away. But the man parked, got out and showed her a wad of cash, asking if she wanted to money in exchange for getting inside. She instead got on her scooter, rode home and told her father. Dad went out to confront the Lexus driver, who sped away. But the father did manage to get a partial license number that led deputies to lure Alfredo Granados Canchola, 26, of Artesia, two days later to a spot in Santa Ana, where he was arrested on suspicion of attempted kidnapping. Held in lieu of $100,000 bail, Canchola was also suspected of other alleged crimes in Orange and Riverside counties, including an open case involving a 16-year-old girl in Irvine.

Trick or Treat, Don't Smell His Feet A woman who resides on Fairlane Road in Laguna Niguel called sheriff's deputies just before 10 p.m. to report that someone had just left a flaming bag of poo on her door step, rang the bell and left in an older white vehicle. Her husband valiantly tried to extinguish the burning bag by stepping on it, but that just caused hot poo to cover his shoe. Look for these and other prank victimizations in Clockwork's new book, Oh My God, I Can't Believe That Dude Didn't Know Not to Do That!


Is It Something in the San Clemente Water? An apparently drunken, possibly naked man shouted profanities and yelled that he was going to kill people, according to a call sheriff's deputies received at 2:40 a.m. from El Camino Real and Avenida Aragon in San Clemente. Seven minutes later, another caller said a naked man was outside the front door in the 200 block of West Marquita in San Clemente. Deputies later arrived at a nearby apartment complex garage, where they found a stitchless Marine who was taken to Camp Pendleton. Finally, at 11:30 a.m., deputies were contacted by an innkeeper at the Motor Lodge in the 2200 block of South El Camino Real about a naked man who refused to check out of his room When deputies arrived, he was gone. But, hey, nice tip!

Manny, Moe and Baby Make Three Minutes after a Pep Boys in Garden Grove was robbed by an armed pair, a police officer spotted a vehicle matching the description of the one driven by the criminals around 7 p.m. at Magnolia and Cerritos, which is about a mile from the auto store. Besides two adults, the car was occupied by the 7-month-old daughter of one of the suspects. Lashawn Lilly-Freeman, 34, of Santa Monica, and Latoya Lilly, 23, of Carson, were arrested on charges of commercial robbery, false imprisonment and felony child endangerment. The baby was placed in protective custody.


No Way to Start a Monday Morning Toy Town owner Joshua Vecchione looked up at the side wall of one of his fellow Mercantile West Shopping Center tenants around 9 a.m. and discovered obscene and racist graffiti had been painted on. Among the foot-tall black lettering on the side of Ladera Cleaners was a racial slur directed at African Americans. The property manager had white paint slapped up over the graffiti by noon. 


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