Who's the Patron Saint of Stupidity Again? A 50-inch Viso plasma TV was stolen out of the beer tent erected for the weekend Fall Festival at Sts. Simon & Jude Catholic Church,
20444 Magnolia St., Huntington Beach
, some time before 3:30 a.m. What's more disturbing: the crime, leaving a plasma unattended in a tent overnight or a church festival hosting a beer tent?
Put Him in the Horror Aisle A homeless man squatting on the second level of the old Hollywood Video building in the 300 block of South El Camino Real in San Clemente was reportedly vomitting blood around 9:30 a.m.
Maybe San Clemente High Has a Bartending Class? Sheriff's deputies were called around 1:30 p.m. regarding a 16-year-old San ClementeHigh School student who reportedly had an ice chest full of booze. If the container was still full of booze, how could the student be drunk?
Clean Out in Aisle 7 A man walked up to the teller at the US Bank inside the Ralphs supermarket at Adams and Brookhurst streets in Huntington Beach just before 3:15 p.m. and handed over a note demanding money. He got $150. No weapon was seen. He was described as white, in his 30, weighing 200 pounds with astocky building and wearing a blue shirt and jeans.
TUESDAY, OCT. 6
Downed Bicyclist Update Last week you were alerted to a bicyclist being down in the northbound lanes of Valley View north of Lemon Avenue in Cypress. Officers now say the unidentified man, who was in his late 20s or early 30s and bleeding from the head when cops rolled up, may have been drunk. He sustained serious injuries and was being treated at UCIMedicalCenter in Orange.
At Least We Know the Bus System Works A concerned shopper called Newport Beach police around 11:30 a.m. about three males hanging around suspiciously near the parking structure next to the 24 Hour Fitness at Fashion Island. Before a patrol car arrived the three split up, with two going to the Orange County Transportation Authority center on Avocado Avenue. They sat on a bench there with a backpack between them, but when an officer approached to talk with them, they jumped up and ran away, leaving the bag behind. The pair was tracked down a short distance away. The backpack contained a loaded Tec-9 pistol that had been stolen from the home of one suspect's parents, a loaded Berretta pistol that had been lifted in a Northern California robbery and ammunition. An 18-year-old San Clemente man and 16-year-old Laguna Niguel boy were arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit robbery. They and the third male were believed to have traveled to FashionIsland from San Clemente by bus. Newport Beach police did not reveal the identity of the third suspect, but the Orange County Sheriff's blotter may have. Deputies cautioned a woman just before 3:30 p.m. that her daughter's ex-boyfriend was a suspect in a foiled Newport Beach robbery and that he might return to her neighborhood in the 100 block of West Canada in San Clemente. Dalton Edward Rahman, 18, was considered armed and dangerous and possibly wearing a bulletproof vest.
The Edge of Wetness What's the deal with San Clemente residents and their garden hoses? A retired fire captain called sheriff's deputies just before 2:15 p.m. to report he had "a gun cocked and ready to go" should his next-door neighbor continue spraying water into the living room of his home in the 400 block of Via Alegre. Then around 10:15 p.m., a woman called to say her neighbors were acting crazy and yelling "Yoo-Hoo!" while spraying water on the windows of her home on Via Cancha.
Feline on the Line The 9-1-1 operator picked up a call from a resident in the 400 block of Via Alegre in San Clemente around 4:30 p.m. Actually, it wasn't the resident who dialed but the household cat, the embarrassed feline owner reported.
Imagine the Roaming Charges!Huntington Beach police received a call about 11:30 p.m. about a man screaming for 20 minutes into his cell phone. Based on what the man was yelling, God was on the other end of the line. Police went out to the fellow's home in the 7700 block of Warner Avenue to suggest he whisper his phone calls to God so not to disturb his neighbors. He wouldn't want to break a commandment, after all.
WEDNESDAY, OCT. 7
Snowing in San Clemente: U.S. Border Patrol Agents searched a Ford Crown Victoria at a San Clemente rest stop around 5 p.m. and found hidden 36 pounds of cocaine worth about $360,000. The 22-year-old Mexican national driver was also in the country illegally, according to the agents. A K-9 team discovered the 13 bundles of nose candy hidden in the door panels. It and the suspect were turned over to the Drug Enforcement Administration.
Courtesy of U.S. Customs and Border Protection
Showers in Surf City The rude water works have now spread to Huntington Beach: A man was inside the women's bathroom behind the Park Bench Cafe in Central Park throwing H2o onto a woman just before 6:30 p.m.
THURSDAY, OCT. 8
Hello, Is There Anybody In There?A man who resides in the 16800 block of Blanton Street in Huntington Beach called police around 2:15 a.m., crying and cussing and who could blame him? He explained he could not sleep because of the voices in his head and implants in his nose that had transmitters to cameras. Crime Time was trying to run down at press time which City Council member placed the call.
You're Soaking In It!Sheriff's deputies nabbed two wet people who'd jumped a fence of a residence in the 2500 block of South Camino Real in San Clemente just before 11 a.m. and started taking a bath in a Jacuzzi.
Snitch on Line 1 A call came in around 4 p.m. tipping police that Huntington BeachHigh School was having a dance on Saturday and some wallflower students were planning an anti-dance at the Bella Terra shopping mall where they "are going to get messed up."
Sticky-Fingered Bus Driver? A SageHillHigh School employee caught a bus driver allegedly rifling through a 16-year-old student's purse in the girls locker room at the school,
20402 Newport Coast Drive, Newport Beach
. Students participating in cross country and volleyball programs had left their purses out on a bench in the locker room before the incident, which resulted in the 44-year-old Santa Ana woman's arrest around 6:15 p.m. A student had $150 taken from her purse the day before, and officers suspect the driver stole that money and was looking to take more.
Wild Night in Santa Ana A man was walking along Park Lane in the Casa de Santiago neighborhood of Santa Ana around 10:30 p.m. when he was confronted by three men. One pointed a handgun at the stroller's head, while a second man punched the victim in the face before taking his backpack, cell phone and wallet containing $3. The three then jumped into a vehicle driven by a fourth person. A second victim was robbed by three men in the same manner around 11:15 p.m. at a Bank of America ATM machine at 2001 S. Main St., but instead of hopping into a waiting vehicle with the bank customer's cell phone and wallet containing $10, they also took his van, which was followed by another vehicle. Security guards at Sunset Ridge Apartments, 1314 N. Harbor Blvd., had just dealt with a noise complaint around 12:30 a.m. when they noticed two men meeting and exchanging items in the parking lot. As a guard followed one man, he swung around and asked what the problem was. Another man jumped out of the van as if ready to fight. After an exchange that included the guards firing Taser guns and the men and detaining them at gunpoint until police arrived, the three men were tied to the previous robberies because of the items in their possession. Also, the victims later identified them as the suspects, according to police. Jesus Alejandro Tovar, 19; Daniel Funes, 19; and Joel Aguirre Jr., 18, all of Santa Ana, were arrested on suspicion of carjacking, robbery, possessing stolen property and possessing a stolen vehicle. FRIDAY, OCT. 9
Lance Romance: These surveillance photos from after midnight Friday, Oct. 9, show a man who would later try to remove a woman's bedroom screen window in the Stonebrook apartments in the 15600 block of Williams in Tustin. He left after the woman yelled at him, but police wonder if he is the same man who has been entering homes around town through unlocked doors and windows and touching and even kissing sleeping women. There have been at least five such reports in Tustin over the past couple months. The man in the photo is described as Latino, in his mid- to late 30s, with curly hair and a mustache, wearing a blue T-shirt and red shorts--which fits the description from the other incidents. Anyone with information is asked to call Tustin Police Department at (714) 573-3200 or Detective Mayfield at (714) 573-3246.
Courtesy of Tustin Police Department
The Losers Circle A black Infiniti was following a red Ford Mustang east on the 91 freeway around 2 a.m. when the Infiniti rear-ended the Mustang at the Orangethorpe Avenue off-ramp. The Mustang came to a stop by crashing into a tree near an apartment complex in La Palma. Responding California Highway Patrol officers determined that both drivers were under the influence of something. Team Infiniti's Ryan Dewindt, 41, of La Palma, and Mustang wrangler Victor Ontiveros, 20, of Long Beach, were placed under arrest--with Ontiveros also earning a charge of obstructing an officer's duty because, the CHP says, he refused orders to get out of the car and had to be physically removed.
This Is Why You Screen Your Phone Calls A woman who resides on Avenida Adobe in San Clemente called sheriff's deputies to report a disturbing phone call she received around 4:15 p.m. The caller asked for her husband. She replied that her husband is dead. The caller then accused her of killing him.
SATURDAY, OCT. 10
It's Couple's Therapy Week in San Clemente A man called deputies around 4 a.m. to say his ex-wife, against whom he has a restraining order, crawled through a window of his home in the 2400 block of Corte Merlango and began sleeping on his bed. You know, you get used to a certain mattress and you can't sleep on another. Just before 7:20 p.m., a woman on Calle Cumbre called deputies to say her intoxicated husband, who is on probation and has a suspended driver's license, hopped onto a bicycle to go purchase illegal drugs. He'd better have a helmet on or he could get a ticket!
SUNDAY, OCT. 11
South Santa Ana Shoot 'Em Up Santa Ana police were called to meet a shooting victim around 1 a.m. in the Ralph's parking lot at MacArthur Boulevard and Fairview Street. A Westminster man who had been shot and another man who was involved in the incident were, in the words of officers, uncooperative. But police were able to discern the shooting happened near the Fairview and Aurora, where two vehicles had been seen speeding away after gunfire erupted. Cops believe occupants of the vehicles may have been hit by bullets also and that the whole thing is gang related.
That's Why God Invented Born-On Dates Huntington Beach police were called to meet a victim of their own at Beach and Garfield. The man said he'd been sold some "moldy old Coors beer." We can only assume that brought out the SWAT team.
MONDAY, OCT. 12
Last Call A man was harassing female employees at Piccolo Bar, 2200 W.
First St., Santa Ana
, around midnight when the security guard there asked him to leave. As the guard was escorting the troublemaker out the door, the man turned on him and called out for his friends to help out. He had a lot of friends: six others jumped into the fray, and at one point the man who was being led out of the bar got ahold of the guard's baton and began beating him with it. But the guard gave as good as he got, and both he and the first man were taken to a local hospital for treatment of bruises and scrapes. That wasn't the final stop for the bar patron, however. Rigoberto Contreras, 45, of Santa Ana, left the hospital and entered Orange County Jail, where he was held on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon.
Fire Bug A guest at the Holiday Inn,
25205 La Paz Road, Laguna Hills
, disabled the smoke detector in his second floor room around 6:30 a.m. and lit a fire in the bathroom. When confronted by the manager, the guest allegedly hit him before fleeing to a nearby Starbucks, where he is said to have tried to hold a woman by the arm. Firefighters extinguished the small fire, and deputies found the alleged arsonist near a bank, where he had to be Tased before several deputies took him into custody. He was described only as a Laguna Beach resident in his 20s. He was arrested on suspicion of arson, making terrorist threats, battery, disabling a fire alarm and providing a false identification.
From Purse Snatching to Death After a woman had her purse snatched by a man who jumped into a car driven by a woman just after 5 p.m. in the 1300 block of South Beach Boulevard in La Habra, police dispatch received a call from a man who said he was pursuing the purse thieves. The chase of the gray Honda wound through the streets of La Habra before ending in the 700 block of West Imperial Highway, where the pursuer, who was believed to be a retired police officer, shot and killed the man. The woman ran off. She was described as Hispanic, about 5 feet 6, 130 pounds, with red hair in a ponytail and wearing a black tank top and black stretch pants. She had either a mole or a tattoo under her right eye.
Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before "graduating" to OC Weekly in 1995 as the paper's first calendar editor. He has contributed as a freelance editor and writer to several publications and been the subject of or featured in several reports online, in print and on the radio and television. One of countless times he returned to his Costa Mesa, CA, home with a bounty of awards from a journalism competition, his wife told him to take out the trash.