Comic-Con 2007: Of Paramount Disappointment, plus Jessica Alba and Peter Fonda

Damn, the lines here suck. Used to be that Comic-Con got bigger every year, and they expanded the available space to fit. Then the space ran out, and stuff kept getting bigger anyway.

I wait in line half an hour for the Paramount panel, and don't even get close to getting in. Regroup. An hour later, get in line an hour early for the Lionsgate panel. Line is all the way to the back loading dock. I get in. But this astonishes me: after all that wait, once initial guest Jessica Alba is done, half the crowd leaves. LEAVES! And the panel's not over.

I ask a few stragglers from the Paramount panel what was said. Nothing much new on Indiana Jones -- no title confirmed, anyway. New Star Trek movie is next Christmas, and as you already know, Shatner's out, Nimoy's in. Apparently Zachary Quinto on "Heroes" (Sylar) is young Spock.

Glad I didn't wait forever just to hear that.

Fox News entertainment reporter Bill McCuddy hosts the Lionsgate panel. Immediately alienates the crowd with jokes about virginity and mom's basement. Dane Cook recovers with knowing references to Moon of Endor, and comparisons of his penis to a lightsaber.

Dane is promoting Good Luck Chuck, which no doubt you've seen the trailers for. Jessica Alba comes out, talks about "smashing my face into many different things." Crowd immediately assumes obscene connotation.

Montage of Jessica running into stuff, form the movie, is shown.

A guy in an Optimus Prime helmet asks Dane what superhero he'd be if he could be in the next Fantastic Four movie. Dane says he is going to play Marmaduke in the live-action movie.

Jessica Alba mentions upcoming horror movie The Eye, says it is gonna be "very different from anything people have ever seen." Funny, because I remember seeing it the first time when it was a Thai movie.

Dane makes fun of Jessica's line delivery from Honey, and mocks her gold shoes for looking like C-3P0 feet.

A scene from the Elmore Leonard western 3:10 to Yuma is shown, with Ben Foster interrogating a guy in a burning wagon. Proving he's a total badass, He gets the info he needs but still leaves the guy to die. Then we see a chase scene involving Peter Fonda. Fonda comes out on stage, with huge flask containing "water. Pure, clean water. Don't buy plastic bottles, they're bad for the environment."

Movie is set during a drought, but was shot during a snowfall, requiring 40 million tons of dirt to clean shit up.

Fox News dork calls it "High Noon on Eastern Standard Time with a watch that's ten minutes fast." No-one laughs at the joke.

Fonda describes the acting process as "Hours of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror." How does he get in character for the period? "We dress well."


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