Business Class On A Budget

The Los Diablos Times just chimed in (read: posted an AP release) on the luxurious conditions of John Mark Karr's flight to California. Karr, in case you're allergic to the 24-hour news cycle, is the guy who says he killed six-year old beauty queen (a truly shudder-worthy compound adjective) JonBenet Ramsey. It's said he apparently knows apparently secret details about the murder scene.

He'll stay for an indefinite period of time - fathers, lock up your daughters! (No, really. I mean it.) It'll be a return of sorts, as Karr spent some time substitute-teaching in Sonoma County. Unsurprisingly, he was terminated for possessing kiddie-porn, absconded and is still wanted there. Creepily, contains links to a MySpace account said to be for a John Mark Karr II in Petaluma, CA. The age for the profile is said to be 15, though it has since been closed.

Karr's current MySpace account lists his address as Thailand. Okay, it's probably not actually his MySpace - unless he's got a great sense of humor. One Night in Bangkok? Come on. Also, I don't think Karr would say he doesn't want kids.

The Times article lists the various delicacies Karr enjoyed in his business class seat.

Before takeoff, he sipped champagne. During dinner, Karr had pate, salad with walnut dressing and fried king prawn with steamed rice and broccoli. Karr had a beer before a glass of French chardonnay with the main course.

Karr went so far as to clink glasses with his single-serving friend, investigator Mark Spray of the Boulder County District Attorney's office. I wonder if they hoped he would say something like, "Here's to the undisputable fact that I killed JonBenet Ramsey!" I guess there's always a chance of some enlightening Truth or Dare—you get all kinds of buzzed when you drink up in the wild blue yonder.

Denver attorney Larry Pozner, past president of the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers, said the royal treatment during Sunday's journey -- king prawns, champagne, French wine -- was "a brilliant move."

Yeah yeah yeah, maybe he'll feel comfortable. Maybe he'll get all maudlin and loquacious. Or maybe he'll admit that he actually didn't kill JonBenet.

I'm hoping for the last one actually. I mean, come on—prawns? Beer and chardonnay? It's a festival of the senses at 38,000 feet. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm the one who killed JonBenet. I mean, it's possible. There's some worrisome gaps in my recollection of the past 25 years. And I could use a flight to Colorado; my sister's got peeps in Boulder.

Which brings me to my point: unless the Boulder DA is abso-fucking-lutely certain that Karr's the kid-killer in question, it's pretty monstrously stupid to give him the royal treatment unless they are. It's practically an incentive to any whack-job who dreams of fame, fortune and flying first-class.

Plus, chicks dig famous cons. Trust me, I saw it on E! TV.


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