'Bros, Stay Away'
Luke McGarry

'Bros, Stay Away'

They were the kicks seen 'round the world: Rioters on Main Street in downtown Huntington Beach smashing news boxes into smithereens. No publication was sacred—but no paper's box suffered worse insult than Racky, the Weekly's beloved stand that had served us proudly for longer than a decade. Hooligan after hooligan tried kicking it off its base, only to fail (The Orange County Register box, on the other hand, folded like owner Aaron Kushner's dreams). While initially surviving the onslaught, Racky was so battered we had to put it out of commission—which sucked because it was two days away from retirement.

The Weekly spoke to Racky, currently in a scrap heap in China waiting to play its part as a steel beam inside a shitty skyscraper, for his thoughts on the 2013 riots, the bros that beat him up and more.


OC WEEKLY: You feeling good?

RACKY: Still sore, still pissed. Look, I knew I wouldn't stand forever, but give a brother a couple of more years to see all the hot chicks in H.B., you know?

Your assailants are still at large. Can you identify them?

Easy: all out-of-town bros. Huntington has a lot of scummy people, but they know better than to trash their hometown—that's what Havasu is for. But these 909ers and 951ers—and not just white bros, but also Mexican and Persian bros—have no respect. It's as if once they enter H.B., they feel they have to act the stereotype and put on broface. "You mad, bro? You mad, bro?" We heard you the first time!

Why did the riot happen?

It's not the U.S. Open's fault. Hell, it's not even the police's fault, who miraculously didn't kill any teenage girls holding butter knives. But when you attract a bunch of people who don't care about the actual action happening on the waves and just want to act as if Hurricanes [Bar & Grill] took over the street, is it any real surprise? At least in previous years, they just beat up one another or cop cars—but to take it out on defenseless news racks? Unconscionable. Newsprint just can't get a break anymore.

Describe the day of the riot.

In the morning, someone got a stack of Weeklies to use while painting their house. Then you had all the people going to the beach for the Open. Then the riots. Really, Huntington shouldn't have shut down Main Street and made it one giant block party. "Parties" and "Huntington Beach" go together as well as "black people" and "Orange County."

Do you have a message for those bros?

Yep: Bros, stay the fuck away. Leave the U.S. Open to the surfers, skaters, surfing and skating dogs, and chicks in bikinis. Unleash your terror on Murrieta or some city that deserves to get beaten up. What did H.B. ever do to you besides give you love, from Chronic Tacos to Fred's to Tito Ortiz?

Do you think it's wise for the U.S. Open to focus more on the sports and less on the crowds?

Did you pay attention to my last answer?

Okay . . . any final words?

Yeah, who replaced me?

A Mexican news rack named Rackdriguez.

Well, at least he'll have a shiv if anyone tries to knock him down.

'Bros, Stay Away'
Luke McGarry


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