DEAR READERS: In honor of April Fools’ Day, I turn this column over to Jim Gilchrist, founder of the Minuteman Project movement, to answer your preguntas. No, really. It’s really him. Enjoy!
DEAR MEXICAN: I’m a white, college-educated, liberal, Democrat, socialist U.S. citizen. I don’t have any problem with Mexicans coming here to get a good job. In fact, I don’t see the “problem.” From your perspective, why are Republicans and redneck dickheads so into building that big fence on the border? Is it just ignant racism?
Taco Lover In Houston
JIM REPLIES: Immigrants are not a problem, as long as their presence here is legal and within the realm of a responsible immigration policy. Immigration should be of a prescribed numbers of persons with skills needed to continue the U.S. as an economic powerhouse with a healthy middle class. An immigrant’s integrity and moral character are also necessary to continue our nation as a civilized one governed by the rules of law.
In light of the irresponsible attitudes of many of our political leaders, a towering border fence is an appealing solution. If our bureaucrats doubled the funding of the Border Patrol and ICE, there would be little need for an international fence except in the most remote areas. To grant citizenship or legal status to illegal aliens would mean we are no longer a nation of laws, but a nation governed by mob rule—something anathema to a civilized society.
Sadly, there is an element of racial supremacy feeding some immigration-law-enforcement advocacy groups. In my opinion, William Gheen’s ALIPAC, Jeff Schwilk’s San Diego Minutemen and the California Coalition for Immigration Reform appear to be the more abusive groups hiding behind the mantra of “immigration law enforcement” to veil sinister agendas of fascism and/or racism. [Mexican note: CCIR head pendeja Barbara Coe sued Gilchrist for control of the Minuteman Project; Gheen called a Gilchrist supporter his “butt boy,” while Schwilk has called Gilchrist a lunatic—God bless Know Nothing infighting!] These groups are no better than the Black Panthers, Brown Berets, Asian gangs, Jewish Defense League and similar hate groups.
DEAR MEXICAN: I traveled to Juarez to see the Real Mexico, and boy, was I disappointed. Not a single man in white pajamas with his donkey leaning against a cactus. No women with baskets of fruit on their heads. To show how I loved their culture, I mentioned Speedy Gonzales and the Frito Bandito, but people looked at me funny. No one accosted me on the street with, “Hey, Meestair, for 10 bucks, you can fuck my mother—she’s a virgin.” Where do I go for a taste of the Real Mexico?
JIM REPLIES: There are no men in white pajamas leaning against cacti or women carrying fruit baskets in Juarez because most of them are dead—shot to death in drug-cartel battles, abducted and held for ransom, or exploited as sex slaves (then murdered anyway) by criminal cartels. That is the Mexico that appears so prominently in the news today.
My advice to you, young man, is to stay out of Mexico until Presidente Felipe Calderon completes his mission of exterminating the criminal cartels that have plundered Mexico for the past 50 years. Calderon is an admirable and courageous leader. He’s the first Mexican president to truly accept the challenge of tackling these cartels. Calderon’s vision is to create a “Mexican Dream” in Mexico similar to the American Dream we experience here. Because the cartels operate transnationally, it is paramount that U.S. and Mexican law enforcement and military forces work jointly to eradicate these menaces to both countries.
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If you want a “real taste” of Mexico, rather than the taste of blood in your mouth, then hang out in East LA until the joint efforts of U.S. and Mexican law enforcement restore Mexico to being an attractive and safe place to visit.
Ask the Mexican at email@example.com, youtube.com/askamexicano or myspace.com/ocwab. Or write to him at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433. Find him on Facebook and Twitter!
This column appeared in print as "Special Minuteman Project Edition."