Are Mexican Men Self-Conscious When They Take a Crap?EXPAND
Mark Dancey

Are Mexican Men Self-Conscious When They Take a Crap?

DEAR MEXICAN: I find Mexican women to be very prejudiced. Is it their lack of education or the fact they don't assimilate well? Is anyone schooling them on appropriate behavior, and are they being told that racial prejudice has reached the point it's barely tolerated in the USA? I'm offended by their racist stares—I call this "racist stares" because it reminds me of the 1950s, when the white folks were doing it—as well as how many people live in one house with the multitude of trucks, leaving all the daily trash in front of their houses for the trash pick-up day from the business they run out of their houses. Do we pay for this in our monthly water bills? Because the trash debris fee is higher than the usage of water.

I now live across from such a female who gives racist stares every chance she gets—she looks like a giant Godzilla. A shemale, with her tiny husband she probably picked up at the border and beats to keep him in line (no joke: it looks that way) and her 10 kids—five by the one that left her, and five by her border husband. When she is "dressed up" in her jeans and body shirt, she looks like a fat sausage.

I called another a racist because her kids were in the back yard calling out the "n" word—and no, they weren't talking to one another. Guess what she did: She invited the only black person she has ever had over to her house to show she is not a racist. Typical. . . . I'm just curious because you go in the Mexican stores and everything is in Spanish, yet American stores label everything in dual languages. Americans have been most accommodating to all immigrants, not just Mexicans. You can't go anywhere outside of the USA and live unless you are able to support yourself and not take jobs from the native population.

Toby Keith Is Mine

DEAR GABACHA: There is not one thing you mentioned that makes me think your Mexican female neighbor is racist. You, on the other hand . . . From the "giant Godzilla" to the "border husband" to describing her as a "fat sausage" and speculating about her husband, you sound like a bitter gabacha whose man left her for a Mexican woman long ago. Get over it, honey. Besides, Mexican women are only racist to Mexican women—you can look it up!

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DEAR MEXICAN: What's the deal with hanging 15 feet of toilet paper in el baño to cover the gaps in the stall walls? I only see this coming from Mexican men because I only frequent men's restrooms—and only in the restrooms predominantly frequented by my Mexican co-workers. But frankly, what kind of man—other than the occasional Idaho Republican—wants to peek through the gap or catch a fleeting glimpse of another man taking a dump? Is this kind of male-on-male bathroom voyeurism a problem in Mexico, or are Mexican men simply more self-conscious than gabachos?

Degenerate John

DEAR GABACHO: Assimilation at work. In Mexico, we freely shit in the barnyard, the better to mix with other manure. In the U.S., we become as prudish as Jeff Sessions. Then again, staring through gaps is a habit for Mexican men—how else do you think we're able to get over walls and fences so easily?

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

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