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  • Article

    Part 11: The Tim Carpenter Award for Jeffersonian Achievement

    Photo by Jack Gould[Stagehands dressed in black push a platform to center stage. Atop the rolling platform stands a tall, gaunt man dressed as the Statue of Liberty. His face, robes, hair and really flaming torch are the color of patina; his eyes ar...

    on October 26, 2000
  • Article

    1: Shall We Begin?

    Photo by Jack Gould[Cue orchestra. Open on spectacular sunset at Laguna Beach. Cut to kids hugging Mickey Mouse at Disneyland. Cut to closeup of kid's face lit up by the glow of pyrotechnics at Huntington Beach's Fourth of July celebration. Pull bac...

    on October 26, 2000
  • Article

    Part 13: The Very Special Rebecca Schoenkopf Interview

    Photo by Jack Gould[Vaseline-smeared lens shows slow-motion clips from past specials: pretty Gwen Stefani wipes away a tear as Rebecca Schoenkopf holds a baby before her, just out of reach; District Attorney Tony Rackauckas and Rebecca share a laugh...

    on October 26, 2000
  • Article

    Part 12: Farewell

    Photo by Jack GouldSWAIM: Well, that's our show. [Sentimental music rises like a bitter sweet memory.] SWAIM [continues, wiping away a tear with his tuxedo sleeve]: You know, we've shared a few laughs and a few tears tonight. But I'd like also to th...

    on October 26, 2000
  • Article

    7: Peculiar Achievement in All Things Egghead

    Photo by Jack GouldANNOUNCER: Once again, OC Weekly editor Will SWAIM! [Huge fanfare. The audience rises. The music swells. A sharp light glances off shiny brass in the orchestra pit.] SWAIM: Now is the time in the show devoted to honoring the c...

    on October 26, 2000
  • Article

    2: Chowtastic Achievement in Grubby Yum Yums and Brown Liquid

    Photo by Jack GouldOur first presenter is OC Weekly's managing editor and producer of the hilarious column A Clockwork Orange, or at least that's what I've been told. Ladies and gentlemen, Matt Coker! [Applause. Coker emerges from the wings in a c...

    on October 26, 2000
  • Article

    Letters

    Contact us via phone (714-825-8432), e-mail (letters@ocweekly.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, OC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627) or fax (714-708-8410). Visit our website at www.ocweekly.com. Letters will be edited for clarit...

    on October 26, 2000
  • Article

    New Drink: - Instant Jerk!

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations--changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent --to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com. Gen...

    by ANONYMOUS on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    Mo' Monica - Whos afraid of the ladies who lunch?

    Photo by Jack GouldBill Maher is still, two years later, telling Monica Lewinsky jokes. But he can't help it. He's got really good material about the whole thing, and it's hard to let good material die. Just ask any comic who's still doing Heaven's ...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    The Edwards Crown Affair

    July 1-Aug. 30. New evidence that George W. Bush and Al Gore are right and Hollywood is destroying America: earlier this summer, an Edwards Cinema in Newport Beach displayed several oil paintings by a local artist. Moviegoers waiting in line for pop...

    by KEN WIDMANN on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    Captain Fantastic - Lou Sheldon mistakes Internet for reality, panics, declares world ending!

    Photo by Johan VogelThe dark powers behind the entertainment industry have apparently turned their attention from warping kids' minds through video games and gone back to their roots: warping kids' minds through television. Fortunately, however, the...

    by WYN HILTY on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    OnStar Trek - Where would you go today if you could afford to go there?

    "Once you have it," confides the woman in the back seat of the brand-new Cadillac I am driving through seaside hills dotted with stands of pine and expensive homes, "you feel insecure when you don't have it." And I have cable and I've had sex, so ...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    Bobbing for Airtime

    Illustration by Bob AulThe Bob Dornan who showed up as a panelist on ABC's Politically Incorrect on Oct. 3 was more subdued and less overtly insane than the bitter, defeated ex-congressman Orange Countians have grown to loathe. Hell, "B-1 Bunghole" ...

    by Matt Coker on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    Cox Stocks Take Big Knocks - Newport Republican still backpedaling on Chinese spies

    Bitter, defeated former Congressman Bob Dornan managed to talk out of both sides of his big oral cavity on just about every issue. The Garden Grove Republican made gays and lesbians his political scapegoats yet kept Brian Bennett, a closeted homosex...

    by R. Scott Moxley on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    Our Rams Blew! - This weeks featured NFL game: Atlanta Falcons vs. St. Louis Rams.

    Atlanta update: It's been a tough few weeks for the cradle of the "New South." The just-ended Sydney Olympics were a rousing success, bringing back memories of the atrocious Atlanta Games of '96. Those Games were rife with hate, crime and crass comm...

    by Steve Lowery on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    Ways Record Companies and Bands Rip You Off

    (VOL. 339, CHAPTER 212, ITEMS 131A-131C) The new Deftones song, "Back to School (Mini-Maggit)," should be all over KROQ and MTV shortly, if it isn't already by the time you read this. Problem is if you bought the band's latest album, White Pony, any...

    by Rich Kane on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    Cirque du Socccd - Goofiness is back at South Orange County Community College District

    Let us revisit one of the weirdest marriages in the history of Orange County's political freak show. It's 1996, and the leadership of the liberal union representing South County community college faculty members has locked arms with four conservativ...

    by Matt Coker on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    Cirque du Socccd - Goofiness is back at South Orange County Community College District

    Let us revisit one of the weirdest marriages in the history of Orange County's political freak show. It's 1996, and the leadership of the liberal union representing South County community college faculty members has locked arms with four conservativ...

    by Matt Coker on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    The Wrong Profile - Eddie Quinones says he was safer in jail

    Three months ago, Eddie Quiones actually wanted to be in jail. On July 14, Anaheim police arrested his father, Carlos Quiones Sr., on weapons charges. The next day, accompanied by his family, Eddie returned to his father's house to retrieve his ...

    by Nick Schou on October 19, 2000
  • Article

    Letters from the Editor

    Contact us via phone (714-825-8432), e-mail (letters@ocweekly.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, OC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627) or fax (714-708-8410). Letters will be edited for clarity and length. All correspondence must i...

    on October 19, 2000
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