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  • Article

    Take a Picture, Itll Last Longer - What do we want from whats left of Orange Countys open space?

    Photo by Jack GouldMay He not hurt us, He who made earth, Who made the sky and the shining sea? Who is the God to whom we shall offer sacrifice? --Veda START HERE My wander through the wilderness in search of the biggest old oak tree...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on December 21, 2000
  • Article

    When Pigs Fly

    Illustration by Bob Aul The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) says US Airways did nothing wrong when it allowed a 300-pound pet pig to fly in first class on a Philadelphia-to-Seattle flight in October, Reuters reported on Nov. 30. Having "Charlo...

    by Matt Coker on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    DJ Mule Boy

    Illustration by Bob AulSend anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations --changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent--to "Hey, You!" c/oOC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627-0247, or e-mail us at letters@ocweekly.com. Hey...

    by ANONYMOUS on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    The Metamorphosis - John Moorlach re-fights Measure H

    Photo by Jack GouldNearly lost in the clamor over the presidential election was this news item: on Nov. 22, the U.S. Census Bureau announced an 89 percent increase in the number of Orange County children living in poverty. According to the agency, m...

    by R. Scott Moxley on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    I Was Not a Beaver - This weeks featured NFL game: Philadelphia vs. Cleveland

    Illustration by Bob AulPhiladelphia update: Another victim of our politically correct times fell when, after more than 125 years, Philadelphia's venerable Beaver College announced it was changing its name to Arcadia University because officials, stu...

    by Steve Lowery on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Santa Lost - 'Jesus, Santa, that wasnt nice!

    Illustration by Jim WashburnSanta sat in his lanai, kicking back with some primo myrrh and Chris Gaffney and the Cold Hard Facts' Live and Then Some on the hi-fi. Ximino, his chief elf and current No. 1 son, came in ringing a hand bell and looking...

    by JIM WASHBURN on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Mauled - Commie Girl goes shopping so you dont have to!

    Photo by Jack GouldYou know, if there's one place I feel at home, it's clicking my heels down the hallowed halls of South Coast Plaza (SCP), plastic dangling from my eager and extremely well-formed fingers. It was for just that reason that I trilled...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Monty Hall on Christmas Morn - How my family turned the Nativity into NAFTA

    Thanks to me, nobody in our family will be getting anything for Christmas this year. Not from one another, anyway. After decades of basically amiable gift-giving, everybody is scratching everybody else off their shopping lists--putting the X in Xmas...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Letters

    Letters Contact us via e-mail (letters@ocweekly. com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, OC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627) or fax (714-708-8410). Visit our website at www.ocweekly.com. Letters will be edited for clarity and length...

    on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Cabs Dont Run on Juice - How a powerful obbyist ran a taxi monopoly into the ground

    Photo by Keith MayIn the language of the county's power brokers, Lyle Overby has juice. The county's most powerful lobbyist, he's on a first-name basis with almost every supervisor who has served on the county board for the past 20 years. Juice he...

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    The Madness of King George - Megadeveloper Argyros says F the voters

    Photo by Christina RendahlLast time I checked, no one had elected, appointed, or anointed bazillionaire developer George Argyros king of Orange County. Someone had better break this news to Argyros--gently, please, for Argyros has a temper to match ...

    by MARK PETRACCA on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Bush Victory Evidence of God's Existence - HB Congressman Rohrabacher also reveals that Gorbachev is evil

    Photo by Jack GouldCongressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-Huntington Beach) says George W. Bush will ultimately win his race against Al Gore to become the next president of the United States, and that Bush's certain victory is proof of the existence of God...

    by Nick Schou on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Miscellaneous Great Gifts!

    Illustration by Bob AulHORSE LEECH COST: $14. WHERE TO GET IT: Land of Lakes Bait, P.O. Box 474, Watersmeet, MI 49969, (906) 358-4155; www.lolbait.com. Unique and exotic? Check. Low-maintenance? Check. Affectionate? Check, check and check! Meet ...

    by Chris Ziegler on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Gifts for the Starving Student

    URBAN BOHEMIAN FURNITURE SET COST: Free or up to a $500 fine or 200 hours community service. WHERE TO GET IT: Restaurants with easily distracted waitstaff; alleys; trash bins. Just because someone you know is one financial-aid check away from pa...

    by Chris Ziegler on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Gifts for Pets

    GLAMOUR SHOTS COST: call for prices. WHERE TO GET IT: Le Image/Glamour Pets Photography, 779 E. Merritt Island Cswy., Ste. 784, Merrit Island, FL 32952, (800) 784-8772; www.glamourpets.net. Maybe your cat isn't scratching up the couch like he us...

    by Chris Ziegler on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Gifts for Dads

    We at the OC Weekly DataLab understand how difficult it is to shop for Dad. To make your job easier, we conducted a series of rigorous studies to determine the best gifts for the big guy. Our results indicate that dads fall into four main shopping c...

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Happy Homeless Christmas

    Todd Rundgren once sang, "The most beautiful love of all is the love between the ugly." It's equally true that the most beautiful acts of giving are the gifts between the poor. Christmas season, 1989 or '90. Santa Ana. I'm helping in the kitchen o...

    by TODD MATHEWS on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Shittygiftophobia

    Shittygiftophobia, from the Latin for "Wow, You Gave Me Musical Socks," is the crippling fear that the gift you've chosen to give someone sucks. Its onset is sudden and, more often than not, brought about by the phrases "extended store hours" and "a...

    by ALISON M. ROSEN on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    Gifts for Lovers

    I have absolutely no proof of this, but I am willing to bet a slightly used (very slightly) $35 Replogle globe that most relationship breakups are precipitated by one of the four major relationship-gift-giving cycles: Christmas, Valentine's Day and ...

    by Steve Lowery on December 14, 2000
  • Article

    The Great Park Is Coming Back - El Toro Airport Watch No. 149

    On Dec. 12, the Irvine City Council--with Larry Agran once again sitting as mayor--will end the divisive politics that plagued the council before the Nov. 7 election and reassert the city's No. 1 priority: burying the county's hated El Toro Internat...

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on December 7, 2000
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