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  • Article

    What Its Really Like to . . .

    . . . MAKE LOVE TO A VIRGIN After three hours of gentle cajoling, a young maiden and I slipped into my room for the rupturing of a lifetime. Twenty minutes later, amid declarations of undying love, she had managed to take off my pants. "No, no, ...

    on February 14, 2002
  • Article

    Cop Magnet - Forget doughnut breaks. Cops prefer looking for drunks around Downtown Disneys House of Blues

    photo by Jack GouldWhen Robert Douglas went out Dec. 4 for a night of music and drinking at the House of Blues, he did just about everything right: he left his car keys at home, picked a designated driver and carpooled with buddies to see the indust...

    by Nick Schou on February 14, 2002
  • Article

    Psychic Friends - Was John Schmitz nuts? Or did mobsters run Orange County?

    Illlustration by Bob AulBy the time he died last year at 70, retired Orange County congressman and state senator John Schmitz did and said more strange things than the entire John Birch Society--a group that ultimately kicked him out. He called the ...

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on February 14, 2002
  • Article

    Business as Unusual - Garofalo with a pen is a danger to society

    Photo by Jack GouldAs long as he can hold a pen, former Huntington Beach City Councilman Dave Garofalo remains a menace to society. Any doubt about that was removed last week when Orange County Register reporter Jim Hinch revealed that Garofalo wr...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on February 14, 2002
  • Article

    Letters

    Contact us via e-mail (letters@ocweekly.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, OC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627) or fax (714-708-8410). Letters will be edited for clarity and length. By submission of a letter, you agree that we c...

    on February 14, 2002
  • Article

    Koo's is dead. Long live Koo's!

    We come today not to bury Koo's Art Cafe but to praise it--and to praise the sweethearts at the Garden Grove Youth Drop-In Center, who've dropped in to pick up some of the shows left in limbo when Koo's had to drop out. Youth services manager Diana ...

    on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Chicken Soup for the Prez - And the annual 2002 Puss award!

    I spent the better part of an hour Tuesday (before wandering off to the kitchen in search of snacks) being held hostage to my television like I was Patty Hearst so I could report for you--you!--the question of who delivered standing ovations and who...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Courting Disaster - Patient: I Am Sam

    PROFILE: Mentally challenged man battles small-minded stick figures, the damn "system" and an atrocious Beatles-cover soundtrack--Black Crowes sing "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" . . . talk about mental--to win custody of his young daughter. Think ...

    by Steve Lowery on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Diary of a Mad County

    Photo by Matt CokerTUESDAY, Jan. 22 The environmental group that 20 years ago helped expose toxic poisoning at Love Canal issues a report identifying 1,200 schools--including two in Orange County--built within a half-mile (2,640 feet!) of federal Su...

    by Matt Coker on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Noxious Talk

    When the county auditor reported the Great Park Initiative wouldn't raise taxes, disgusted pro-airport shills realized they were in trouble. How would they bash the popular park? How could they get voters back to supporting their unnecessary and rui...

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Plough Boy Bunnies

    Illustration by Bob AulThere has been more than enough hoopla over the construction of the 73 toll road. Get over it! We now have an eight-lane highway that slices drive times in half. I am one of those who take advantage of the toll road, dutifully...

    by ANONYMOUS on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Pooh Fighters

    Illustration by Bob AulSaturday night, Dec. 1: A small group of us were at Disneyland, anticipating our first crime. When we saw Tigger wandering around Frontierland, one of us said, "Hey, let's sock Tigger in the head." That started an argument tha...

    by ANONYMOUS on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Feeling Punchy

    Photo by Jack GouldIt's been open just a few weeks, but the Ten Count, a nondescript, 1,500-square-foot drinking den nestled snugly in the crotch of a Huntington Beach strip mall on the corner of Beach Boulevard and Slater Avenue, has quickly become...

    on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Wronging Our Writes

    While the rest of you were out boozing it up, your favorite time marker ticked off the final seconds of 2001 nude and alone in our darkened cubicle, armed only with a flashlight to read and re-read our fan mail. Before we fire up the shredder like i...

    on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    We Love You Just the Way You Arent - New Years resolutions for the rest of yall!

    It was a dark and rainy night, and I was weary and had a really painful post-facial pimple in the middle of my chin, though the rest of my skin was shockingly soft and positively glimmery. I was traveling all the way home from Target, in need of sou...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Citizen Cannabis

    Patient: How High. Profile: A movie about smoking pot that's pretty entertaining when the characters are smoking hooter and pretty uninteresting, clichd and painful when they eschew sparking up cheeba so that they may wallow in a lame fish-out-of-...

    by Steve Lowery on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Letters

    Contact us via e-mail (letters@ocweekly. com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, OC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627) or fax (714-708-8410). Visit our website at www.ocweekly.com. Letters will be edited for clarity and length. By subm...

    on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Revolting! - Secret Enron documents reveal shocking, barbarous OC connection

    Calling to mind the darkest days of the Nixon administration, documents recently obtained by the Weekly from a highly placed source at embattled Texas energy company Enron reveal a far-flung and locally financed operation that included the brutal an...

    by TODD MATHEWS on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Not Too Late for a War Crimes Tribunal - He turns 91 this week, so its possible Ronald Reagan cant remember. But Jim Washburn cant forget

    Illustration by Bob AulAs time goes by, it becomes clear that President Reagan was not only a great president but also one of our greatest, right up there with FDR, Lincoln and maybe George Washington. --Dana Rohrabacher, in the Feb. 7, 2001, Dail...

    by JIM WASHBURN on February 7, 2002
  • Article

    Space Case - Apparently theres something called Space Command . . . and theyll control the weather

    In 20 years, assuming terrorists haven't anthraxed a couple of million Americans out of existence and plunged the world financial market into anarchy, the U.S. military will be so powerful it will control space and possibly even the weather. And com...

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on February 7, 2002
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