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  • Article

    Dating Lessons for Dorks

    Illustration by Bob AulPark rangers have more important duties to attend to than pulling your 1999 sable-colored Toyota Camry from the rising tides at Crystal Cove. Apparently they don't cover basic common sense at UCLA graduate school: (1) Do not d...

    by ANONYMOUS on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    Mammaganza! - Everyones a racist! Oh, yes, you are!

    There are few things in life--besides snails and potato bugs--of which I am teeth-quakingly afraid. But pretty Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez and perky old bag Barbara Coe are two of them. I am afraid of Loretta Sanchez because I have written many ...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    Less Talk, More Movie - Patient: The Independent

    Profile: Sweet and funny movie about an obsessed filmmaker that goes awry only when it tries to be a sharp and spiffy show-biz mockumentary. Think Ed Woodmeets This Is Spinal Tap meets NBC's Dateline: The Movie. Symptoms: Blame Christopher Guest. T...

    by Steve Lowery on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    Letters

    Contact us via e-mail (letters@ocweekly.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, OC Weekly, P.O. Box 10788, Costa Mesa, CA 92627) or fax (714-708-8410). Letters will be edited for clarity and length. By submission of a letter, you agree that we ca...

    on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    Leaving Out a Jet Plane - Jack Grimshaws musical war on El Toro

    Photo courtesy of Jack GrimshawJack Grimshaw is a fortysomething resident of Lake Forest (via Manchester, England) and computer-parts salesman (via an editorship at National Enquirer) and an amateur vocalist from way back (like, since he was eight y...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    Holiday Mammaries - The gift that keeps on giving milk

    Over the course of the next few weeks, hundreds of women will open one special present to reveal a big new pair of bright, shiny boobs. Not the boobs themselves, but maybe a gift certificate: "This entitles the bearer to a new set of breasts." Tho...

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    University of Diversity - Will Sanchez usher in a new era at Chapman?

    Photo by Davis BarberCritics are hopeful that two high-profile changes on Chapman University's board of trustees will lead to a new era of diversity--in thought and physical appearance--at a private liberal-arts institution known for its hostility t...

    by WILL C. MATTHEWS on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    No Queers Here - Here and there, Vietnamese say theyre not crazy about gays

    Media hype over the recent release of the first survey of political and social values in socialist Vietnam ignored evidence of overwhelming opposition to homosexuality and what the government there views as other "social evils." Los Angeles Times a...

    by DANIEL C. TSANG on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    Sugar Gaddi - Latino leader Zeke Hernandez says Vasquez critics are racists

    Photo by David KawashimaGaddi Vasquez's bid to become Peace Corps director has taken more hits than Tony Soprano. Since last summer, when President George W. Bush tapped the ex-county supervisor, countless former Peace Corps volunteers have question...

    on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    Mouse Chow - Disney execs collect big checks while low-wage workers collect free food

    Photo by Jack GouldDisney CEO Michael Eisner earned $72.8 million in 2000. Despite plunging Disney stock and a slowing economy, he's on track for another solid year. While Eisner picks up big paychecks, hundreds of Disneyland workers are picking u...

    by Nick Schou on December 20, 2001
  • Article

    Must You Get Medieval on Us? - Patient: Black Knight

    Profile: Intended fish-out-of-water comedy about a black guy transported back to medieval England and the hilarity that ensues that isn't so much hilarity as a tedious excuse for a slew of black/white jokes that might have seemed funny if something ...

    by Steve Lowery on December 13, 2001
  • Article

    Bar-Hopping Mod - 24 hours of hooch, music and tableaux

    Since Kitsch Bar opened Saturday in arguably the ugliest strip mall known to Costa Mesa--and Costa Mesa's got some strip bars that look like Johnny Winter--everything you need for a hipster grown-up's night out is comfortably ensconced under low tea...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on December 13, 2001
  • Article

    Bye, George - Harrison is still here if well hear him

    Like perhaps millions of folks around the world this past Monday, I did my minute of silent meditation in memory of George Harrison at the time his ashes were being scattered in India. I meditate like a caffeinated poodle, with the old brain just ...

    by JIM WASHBURN on December 13, 2001
  • Article

    OC Hillbillies

    Jim Washburn's Nov. 30 Lost in OC column ("Down Satan's Fiery Nostril") detailed the lastest money-making exploits of Orange County's favorite hillbilly televangelists, Paul and Jan Crouch. What do the TBN Network founders do with all that tax-free ...

    by Matt Coker on December 13, 2001
  • Article

    Mousetown Schools

    Illustration by Bob AulIt's this community's misfortune that one of its school administrators can't handle diversity. You fired me because I played Ice Cube singing about a good day in a fifth-grade classroom on a school-issued radio just before rec...

    by ANONYMOUS on December 13, 2001
  • Article

    Home Run - Eddie and Jo Ellen Allen have their very own housing crisis

    This article is the latest in an ongoing series by R. Scott Moxley which includes "God Bless America""Red, White, and Pissed Off""Patriot Games" in the Oct. 26 - Nov. 1 issue, and "With Friends Like These" in the the Nov. 9 - 15 issue. In the three ...

    by R. Scott Moxley on December 13, 2001
  • Article

    The Happy Ones - With Rock Steady, No Doubt officially joins pop-music aristocracy

    Gwen Stefani and Tony Kanal were in a London bar one night last summer, taking an all-night break from a long day of mixing tracks for No Doubt's latest album, Rock Steady, when in walks maybe the biggest rock star in the world. "Bono came out and...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on December 13, 2001
  • Article

    If You Could Shoot Records - KUCIs eine kleine weirdmusick

    If you could shoot records for sucking real bad, this--a dim and dusty backroom at Irvine's iconoclastic community radio station KUCI 88.9 FM, stacked floor-to-fluorescent with moldering generations of LPs--would be a free-fire zone. In the other ro...

    by Chris Ziegler on December 13, 2001
  • Article

    Chaos Magick - Instagons not just a band. Its the end of music as we know it

    Photo by Jeanne RiceLob knows a lot about records. At Huntington Beach's Vinyl Solution, he sells them. And in his band--for lack of a more accurate term--Instagon, he sets them. "At this point, I haven't contacted Guinness yet," he says thoughtfu...

    by Chris Ziegler on December 13, 2001
  • Article

    (Johann) Sebastian Chang - Trabuco Canyons greatest composer

    Photo by Jeanne RiceThe cynics who run the business side of music generally say there's no such thing as an undiscovered genius. What they mean is this: the music community is so tight--with its network of teachers, players, agents and all--that the...

    by DAVID BÃ?NDLER on December 13, 2001
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