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  • Article

    The Liberator of Santa Ana Unified - Tim Whitacre speaks of victory, urges vigilance in the face of the Nativo Menace

    Photo by Jack GouldA specter is haunting Santa Ana--the specter of Nativo Lopez. All the powers of old Santa Ana have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this apparition: mayor and superintendent, Unz and Tuchman, Latina mothers and Republican ...

    by Gustavo Arellano on April 10, 2003
  • Article

    Suspicious Minds - Local libertarians look licked

    In a time of war, it's hard to find one more frightening than Attorney General John Ashcroft's "War on Terror." Immigrants are being detained, indefinitely and without cause. FBI agents are snooping through book-borrowing records at local libraries....

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on April 10, 2003
  • Article

    Hail the Preemptive Heroes - Pro-war resolution flies in Garden Grove

    Photo by Daniel C. TsangAfter spending four hours recognizing student achievements, limiting the number of firework stands and expressing interest in magnetic-levitation transportation systems, the Garden Grove City Council got to what's really impo...

    on April 10, 2003
  • Article

    The 100 Mile Rule

    The 100 Mile Rule begins as a bittersweet satirical take on the abject patheticness of the average, horny, male AUPPIE (Aging Urban Professional) as we are introduced to a group of quietly desperate Detroit salesmen who have journeyed to Long Beach ...

    by GREG STACY on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Pardon My French

    Illustration by Bob AulThis morning, I went to my favorite little caf to get a bagel and coffee. As I was paying, you, the guy behind me, ordered in a loud, shrill voice, "A large FREEDOM Roast, please." You stared at me disapprovingly, though I ha...

    by ANONYMOUS on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    God Bless the USA!

    For nearly two years now, they have been the scourge of proud, loyal Americans everywhere. Their threats have been a constant presence in our lives, leaving us all feeling tense and on-edge. "When and where," we collectively ponder, "will they strik...

    by Rich Kane on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    The Government Says Everythings Okay! - And the LA Times believes

    Photo by Jack GouldYou can tell when a journalist gets too cozy with government sources: they report official spin as unadulterated truth. Take Seema Mehta, a veteran Los Angeles Times reporter who covers the Orange County Board of Supervisors. On...

    by R. Scott Moxley on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Straight Talk From the White House

    The bells and whistles on Bush's propaganda machine are ringing and tooting all over the place to make us feel good about the war. First we get to see a free fireworks display as our boys bomb Baghdad night after night. However, we are barely allowe...

    by JAMES RIDGEWAY on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    What Are We Doing There? - How to fight the war from home

    Photo by Jim WashburnSo you're standing where your dining room used to be, and a colorful leaflet flutters by. You pick it up. There are two photos: on the left, an obviously prosperous man in a crisp blue business suit; on the right, a poor woman h...

    by JIM WASHBURN on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    The Outsiders

    S.E. Hinton was 16 years old when she wrote The Outsiders--a touching, insightful soap opera of teenage-class warfare; of friendship unto death; of the bad, rich socialites and the gold-hearted greasers from the wrong side of the tracks. And Francis...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Keep Your Hans Off My Blix

    PARTY OUT OF BOUNDS After being away since, hell, winning the 2000 presidential election, it was nice to see Democrats returning to their role as the opposition party this past weekend. Of course, they had to come to the nation's most Democratic st...

    by Matt Coker on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Diary of a Mad County

    MONDAY, March 17: On this St. Patrick's Day, President George W. Bush, backed by fellow superpowers Britain, Spain and Candyland, assures America that in two days, the bombs will drop on innocent Iraqis in order to free them from terror. Putting the...

    by Steve Lowery on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    All Crust, No Pie - Why Shock and Awe should stick in our craw

    Photo by Jim WashburnI had a friend in the sixth grade who could not comprehend how Hostess fruit pies could, as advertised, have more filling than crust. "If the crust entirely surrounds the filling, it's bigger. There has to be more crust," he m...

    by JIM WASHBURN on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Fun With Rejection Letters

    March 27, 2003 Mary Haley and Robert Mumford Huntington Beach Dear Mary and Mumford: We are in receipt of your proposed advice column, picture and letter dated Jan. 22, 2003. While we appreciate the offer, we're going to have to take a pass a...

    by Matt Coker on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Shock and Awe and Shuck and Jaw

    An OC Weekly editor who has since gone on to bigger and better things once wrote of a drinking game wherein any time the words "Orange County" were uttered on the late, not-so-great Orange County News Channel, players had to take a swig. Anyone who ...

    by Matt Coker on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    RAT!

    Illustration by Bob AulAnd to think you were once Mickey Mouse at Disneyland. You are absolutely mental. You work in a pillow factory in Compton. As a roommate, you're a slob. You stomp your feet when you don't get your way. You contribute nothing t...

    by ANONYMOUS on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    The Thermals - Heartwarming, heartbreaking

    South By Southwest is like a big vacation, but it's also a dilemma: no matter where you are, there's somewhere else you could be. It is like life itself: every decision means forfeiting all potentially better options. You're most free--and yet most ...

    by ALISON M. ROSEN on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    The Starvations - Punk rock parking lot

    Photo by James BunoanThe Starvations took their whiskey-bottle, slide-guitar punk all the way across the great American desert to big-sky tumbleweedy Texas, and when they got here, they found they were going to play in a parking lot. Irony is chea...

    by Chris Ziegler on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Dance Disaster Movement - We are from nowhere

    Photo by James BunoanWith Dance Disaster Movement, we're wandering along the river in Austin, scraping at our sweat-slick forearms; spitting violently through a cloud of fat, stubborn Texas gnats; and talking about how Southern California is serious...

    by Chris Ziegler on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    On the Beach - Poormans Bikini Brigade draws a line in the sand

    Photo by Bobby DealAs U.S. troops engaged in heavy fighting with Iraqi forces Saturday, Jim "Poorman" Trenton filmed his "Bikini Brigade"--a dozen professional swimsuit and glamour models--wrestling in the sand at his Newport beachfront home. The "B...

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on April 3, 2003
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