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  • Article

    Andy Kaufman Isnt Dead - Hes serving on the Orange School Board

    On Nov. 2, Steve Rocco won a place on the Orange Unified School District board of trustees without mounting a campaign--or even showing his face. Orange school officials--and campaign consultants everywhere--scratched their heads at the notion tha...

    on December 2, 2004
  • Article

    Eight Days

    Thurs/Dec 2 Jake Johannsen takes the stage. He's stuttery. And wry. And you'll like him. 8:30 p.m. $15. 21+. Irvine Improv, 71 Fortune Dr., Ste. 841, Irvine, (949) 854-5455. Fri When I lived in Berlin, we took the train way out of town to see ...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on December 2, 2004
  • Article

    Diary of a Mad County

    WEDNESDAY, Nov. 24 "Hey, Dad, can I sleep over at Kevin's?" "Did Kevin invite you?" "No, see, there's the thing." THURSDAY, Nov. 25 What am I thankful for? Oh, same as everyone. I'm thankful for my family and friends, for the laughter of child...

    by Steve Lowery on December 2, 2004
  • Article

    Playing Doctor - Medical professionals try to rescue OCs infamous gang-rape suspect

    Photo courtesy pool photographer Michael Goulding/ The Orange County RegisterThe son of a wealthy Newport Beach businessman who until recently served as an Orange County assistant sheriff, rape suspect Greg Haidl is typically treated generously w...

    by R. Scott Moxley on December 2, 2004
  • Article

    Up In Smoke - Youd not only want to sell a burned-out car, but youd also have to

    Photo by Tenaya HillsThis side of another Liza Minnelli beat-down, nothing gets the people's attention like a burned-out car. Sure, maybe it's not the kind of attention you'd actually want: a mixture of mild pity, barely suppressed mirth (Fire! Hehh...

    by THEO DOUGLAS on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Pardon My Lunch

    Illustration by Bob AulWorking in a packed-with-cubicles office, and after an especially spicy lunch, one must carefully pick and choose places to pass the proverbial gas. Anywhere within the workspace would be downright rude. The men's room would s...

    by ANONYMOUS on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    The Devil in Ms. Jones - Turn and face the strange changes

    Paul Frank is Not Your Friend by James MaloneyFor everybody who's feeling just a small bit creeped-out by the Dominionists' hostile takeover of the FCC(Dominionists are the folk who think our gubmint should be run on Biblical principles, like ston...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Letters

    Letters may be edited for clarity and length. E-mail to letters@ocweekly.com, or send to Letters to the Editor, c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701. Or fax to (714) 550-5908. TALK OF WAR What a disgrace! First you publ...

    on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Haidls Secret Weapon? - UPDATE: Prosecutors say a sex-crimes felon is trying to silence Haidls alleged rape victimsby posing as their friend

    When the Haidl gang-rape case goes to trial a second time, early in 2005, the prosecution will rely on two key pieces of evidence: the defendants' videotape of the July 5, 2002, incident and the testimony of Jane Doe No. 1, the alleged victim. The...

    by R. Scott Moxley on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Sex with Parrots and Other Jokes - A Day At The Pond With Americas Top Motivatorsand Jerry Lewis

    Christopher Reeve, God bless him, is dead and wasn't available to appear as scheduled. But Jerry Lewis is still kicking, Private Jessica Lynch made it out of Iraq, and Rudolph Giuliani, once the scourge of squeegee men, has turned Sept. 11 into a ...

    by JEREMY ROSENBERG on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Minimize This - Whats Worse: Blowjobs or Watergate?

    Following a campaign that seemed like a replay of 1972--in which John Kerry getting shot in Vietnam was considered infinitely more puss than the president's service in the Texas Air National Guard--it's natural that the opening of the William J. Cli...

    by TODD MATHEWS on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    A Win-Lose Solution - Say hello to more South County homes, adios to wilderness

    Dan Silver is no Luddite. The executivedirector of the Santa Monica-based Endangered Habitats League sees real-estate development--even in quickly vanishing natural-habitat areas--as inevitable. That's why he spent the past 13 years working with Ora...

    by Nick Schou on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Crusaders at the Gates - Avoiding Christian Proselytizers at the Islamic Society of Orange County

    Illustration by Bob AulAround 2 p.m. every Friday, following the conclusion of afternoon prayers, the Muslim faithful at the Islamic Society of Orange County in Garden Grove find out that the prophet Muhammad is the agent of Satan. Sometimes, they...

    on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    !Ask a Mexican!

    Illustration by Mark DancyDear Mexican, Why do Mexicans have so many babies? One Ignorant Gabacho Dear gabacho, The anthropological response? Poor people need large families in order to bring in more income. The theological answer? Mexicans ...

    by GUSTAVO ARELLANO on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Scoring the Quiz

    250-201: CHRISTIAN CONSERVATIVE Core value: The calloused faith to ignore any contradiction between a literal belief in Judeo-Christianity's theory of creation by a loving God--and a ruthless adherence to socio-economic Darwinism's myth of the s...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Orange County - The Quiz

    The tradition of taking personal inventory and expressing a general gratitude is a powerful force at this time of the season, and we in Orange County have more to be thankful for than most people--so much that, you know, we really are too busy to ge...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Eight Days

    Thurs/Nov 25 Hey, men! Guess what? Today you will do the dishes, and you will do them well. That includes wiping the counters and sweeping the floor. Because it would be nice, and she would love you for once in your life not being a prick. (You ma...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Diary of A Mad County

    Photo by Mike McGillWednesday, Nov. 17 Today, a bunch of the people who keep you safe--you know, the ones you keep voting down bonds to pay--practice what they will do when, if, the San Onofre nuclear plant blows up and everyone gets melty. The Fede...

    by Steve Lowery on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Training You - To Fix Fido, You Must Fix Yourself

    Let's be honest here: the problem is you. Not your dog. You. Your dog is a damn dog, maybe even a bitch. You? You've got great intentions, but around your dog, you're like a 58-year-old ex-alcoholic who suddenly finds himself drunk again and holding...

    by WILL SWAIM on November 18, 2004
  • Article

    Deposition Men - They arent priests, but these four are sure to get deposed in Orange Dioceses boy-buggering trials

    The next couple of months promise to be hell for the Diocese of Orange. Lawyers representing victims of pederast priests will depose church leaders as part of the more than 60 civil lawsuits pending against the local Catholic Church. Lawyers vow no ...

    by GUSTAVO ARELLANO on November 18, 2004
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