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  • Article

    Robot Man

    You gotta admit, the thing is definitely impressive. It can walk, talk and shake your hand--sometimes all at the same time. It can sidestep, raise its arms and wave at you. It can climb and descend stairs, not haltingly and awkwardly, but smoothly, ...

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on April 10, 2003
  • Article

    As the World Burns - Alexander Cockburn eviscerates Operation Iraqi Fiefdomand Christopher Hitchens, the barstool bombardier

    As dispatches from the frontlines of Operation Iraqi Freedom reveal increasing confusion and even pessimism about the war on Iraq, more people are turning to Alexander Cockburn. Cockburn is one of the few journalists--from the left or right--who did...

    by Nick Schou on April 10, 2003
  • Article

    Red Ken - OCC poli sci prof harangues college protestors

    Ken Hearlson is at it again. Speaking at a March 20 peace rally, the Orange Coast College (OCC) political science professor--a survivor of several academic scandals and one investigation--blasted college students as hypocrites who "spit on us" when ...

    by JEB BURT on April 10, 2003
  • Article

    The Liberator of Santa Ana Unified - Tim Whitacre speaks of victory, urges vigilance in the face of the Nativo Menace

    Photo by Jack GouldA specter is haunting Santa Ana--the specter of Nativo Lopez. All the powers of old Santa Ana have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this apparition: mayor and superintendent, Unz and Tuchman, Latina mothers and Republican ...

    by Gustavo Arellano on April 10, 2003
  • Article

    Suspicious Minds - Local libertarians look licked

    In a time of war, it's hard to find one more frightening than Attorney General John Ashcroft's "War on Terror." Immigrants are being detained, indefinitely and without cause. FBI agents are snooping through book-borrowing records at local libraries....

    by ANTHONY PIGNATARO on April 10, 2003
  • Article

    Hail the Preemptive Heroes - Pro-war resolution flies in Garden Grove

    Photo by Daniel C. TsangAfter spending four hours recognizing student achievements, limiting the number of firework stands and expressing interest in magnetic-levitation transportation systems, the Garden Grove City Council got to what's really impo...

    on April 10, 2003
  • Article

    The 100 Mile Rule

    The 100 Mile Rule begins as a bittersweet satirical take on the abject patheticness of the average, horny, male AUPPIE (Aging Urban Professional) as we are introduced to a group of quietly desperate Detroit salesmen who have journeyed to Long Beach ...

    by GREG STACY on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Pardon My French

    Illustration by Bob AulThis morning, I went to my favorite little caf to get a bagel and coffee. As I was paying, you, the guy behind me, ordered in a loud, shrill voice, "A large FREEDOM Roast, please." You stared at me disapprovingly, though I ha...

    by ANONYMOUS on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    God Bless the USA!

    For nearly two years now, they have been the scourge of proud, loyal Americans everywhere. Their threats have been a constant presence in our lives, leaving us all feeling tense and on-edge. "When and where," we collectively ponder, "will they strik...

    by Rich Kane on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    The Government Says Everythings Okay! - And the LA Times believes

    Photo by Jack GouldYou can tell when a journalist gets too cozy with government sources: they report official spin as unadulterated truth. Take Seema Mehta, a veteran Los Angeles Times reporter who covers the Orange County Board of Supervisors. On...

    by R. Scott Moxley on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Straight Talk From the White House

    The bells and whistles on Bush's propaganda machine are ringing and tooting all over the place to make us feel good about the war. First we get to see a free fireworks display as our boys bomb Baghdad night after night. However, we are barely allowe...

    by JAMES RIDGEWAY on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    What Are We Doing There? - How to fight the war from home

    Photo by Jim WashburnSo you're standing where your dining room used to be, and a colorful leaflet flutters by. You pick it up. There are two photos: on the left, an obviously prosperous man in a crisp blue business suit; on the right, a poor woman h...

    by JIM WASHBURN on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    The Outsiders

    S.E. Hinton was 16 years old when she wrote The Outsiders--a touching, insightful soap opera of teenage-class warfare; of friendship unto death; of the bad, rich socialites and the gold-hearted greasers from the wrong side of the tracks. And Francis...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Diary of a Mad County

    MONDAY, March 17: On this St. Patrick's Day, President George W. Bush, backed by fellow superpowers Britain, Spain and Candyland, assures America that in two days, the bombs will drop on innocent Iraqis in order to free them from terror. Putting the...

    by Steve Lowery on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Fun With Rejection Letters

    March 27, 2003 Mary Haley and Robert Mumford Huntington Beach Dear Mary and Mumford: We are in receipt of your proposed advice column, picture and letter dated Jan. 22, 2003. While we appreciate the offer, we're going to have to take a pass a...

    by Matt Coker on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Shock and Awe and Shuck and Jaw

    An OC Weekly editor who has since gone on to bigger and better things once wrote of a drinking game wherein any time the words "Orange County" were uttered on the late, not-so-great Orange County News Channel, players had to take a swig. Anyone who ...

    by Matt Coker on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Make Love, Not War - I confess . . .

    Photo by Rebecca SchoenkopfThe Ginger Baker Jr. Band was fine--it was presentable, the ponytailed singer had lots of Mick Jaggery energy and a huge diamond ear stud, and Junior himself had his legendary father's intricate quadruple fills--and they'd...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Letter From the Unknown Soldier

    Dear Orange Countian: I hope this letter finds you in good health. Me, I'm sitting in this desert camp, eating cold chow out of a hot can, having no sex, with no communication with the outside world other than this inbred-looking newspaperman who ...

    on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    Keep Your Hans Off My Blix

    PARTY OUT OF BOUNDS After being away since, hell, winning the 2000 presidential election, it was nice to see Democrats returning to their role as the opposition party this past weekend. Of course, they had to come to the nation's most Democratic st...

    by Matt Coker on April 3, 2003
  • Article

    All Crust, No Pie - Why Shock and Awe should stick in our craw

    Photo by Jim WashburnI had a friend in the sixth grade who could not comprehend how Hostess fruit pies could, as advertised, have more filling than crust. "If the crust entirely surrounds the filling, it's bigger. There has to be more crust," he m...

    by JIM WASHBURN on April 3, 2003
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