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  • Article

    The Devil in Ms. Jones - Turn and face the strange changes

    Paul Frank is Not Your Friend by James MaloneyFor everybody who's feeling just a small bit creeped-out by the Dominionists' hostile takeover of the FCC(Dominionists are the folk who think our gubmint should be run on Biblical principles, like ston...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Letters

    Letters may be edited for clarity and length. E-mail to letters@ocweekly.com, or send to Letters to the Editor, c/o OC Weekly, 1666 N. Main St., Ste. 500, Santa Ana, CA 92701. Or fax to (714) 550-5908. TALK OF WAR What a disgrace! First you publ...

    on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Haidls Secret Weapon? - UPDATE: Prosecutors say a sex-crimes felon is trying to silence Haidls alleged rape victimsby posing as their friend

    When the Haidl gang-rape case goes to trial a second time, early in 2005, the prosecution will rely on two key pieces of evidence: the defendants' videotape of the July 5, 2002, incident and the testimony of Jane Doe No. 1, the alleged victim. The...

    by R. Scott Moxley on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Sex with Parrots and Other Jokes - A Day At The Pond With Americas Top Motivatorsand Jerry Lewis

    Christopher Reeve, God bless him, is dead and wasn't available to appear as scheduled. But Jerry Lewis is still kicking, Private Jessica Lynch made it out of Iraq, and Rudolph Giuliani, once the scourge of squeegee men, has turned Sept. 11 into a ...

    by JEREMY ROSENBERG on November 25, 2004
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    Minimize This - Whats Worse: Blowjobs or Watergate?

    Following a campaign that seemed like a replay of 1972--in which John Kerry getting shot in Vietnam was considered infinitely more puss than the president's service in the Texas Air National Guard--it's natural that the opening of the William J. Cli...

    by TODD MATHEWS on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    A Win-Lose Solution - Say hello to more South County homes, adios to wilderness

    Dan Silver is no Luddite. The executivedirector of the Santa Monica-based Endangered Habitats League sees real-estate development--even in quickly vanishing natural-habitat areas--as inevitable. That's why he spent the past 13 years working with Ora...

    by Nick Schou on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Crusaders at the Gates - Avoiding Christian Proselytizers at the Islamic Society of Orange County

    Illustration by Bob AulAround 2 p.m. every Friday, following the conclusion of afternoon prayers, the Muslim faithful at the Islamic Society of Orange County in Garden Grove find out that the prophet Muhammad is the agent of Satan. Sometimes, they...

    on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    !Ask a Mexican!

    Illustration by Mark DancyDear Mexican, Why do Mexicans have so many babies? One Ignorant Gabacho Dear gabacho, The anthropological response? Poor people need large families in order to bring in more income. The theological answer? Mexicans ...

    by GUSTAVO ARELLANO on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Scoring the Quiz

    250-201: CHRISTIAN CONSERVATIVE Core value: The calloused faith to ignore any contradiction between a literal belief in Judeo-Christianity's theory of creation by a loving God--and a ruthless adherence to socio-economic Darwinism's myth of the s...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Orange County - The Quiz

    The tradition of taking personal inventory and expressing a general gratitude is a powerful force at this time of the season, and we in Orange County have more to be thankful for than most people--so much that, you know, we really are too busy to ge...

    by DAVE WIELENGA on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Eight Days

    Thurs/Nov 25 Hey, men! Guess what? Today you will do the dishes, and you will do them well. That includes wiping the counters and sweeping the floor. Because it would be nice, and she would love you for once in your life not being a prick. (You ma...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on November 25, 2004
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    Diary of A Mad County

    Photo by Mike McGillWednesday, Nov. 17 Today, a bunch of the people who keep you safe--you know, the ones you keep voting down bonds to pay--practice what they will do when, if, the San Onofre nuclear plant blows up and everyone gets melty. The Fede...

    by Steve Lowery on November 25, 2004
  • Article

    Training You - To Fix Fido, You Must Fix Yourself

    Let's be honest here: the problem is you. Not your dog. You. Your dog is a damn dog, maybe even a bitch. You? You've got great intentions, but around your dog, you're like a 58-year-old ex-alcoholic who suddenly finds himself drunk again and holding...

    by WILL SWAIM on November 18, 2004
  • Article

    Deposition Men - They arent priests, but these four are sure to get deposed in Orange Dioceses boy-buggering trials

    The next couple of months promise to be hell for the Diocese of Orange. Lawyers representing victims of pederast priests will depose church leaders as part of the more than 60 civil lawsuits pending against the local Catholic Church. Lawyers vow no ...

    by GUSTAVO ARELLANO on November 18, 2004
  • Article

    Tale of the tape

    Illustration by Bob AulThe smashed car window, I can fix. The stolen CD player, I can replace. The missing car key, I can fret about but deal with. The stolen video camera, I can live without. But the TAPES, you fucking bastard, the videotapes of me...

    by ANONYMOUS on November 18, 2004
  • Article

    What Goes On - Winter Music Issue

    Photo by James BunoanBy Nadia Afghani, Gustavo Arellano, Michael Coyle, Theo Douglas, Ellen Griley, Rich Kane, Susan Morgan, Rex Reason, Rosheila Robles, Charlie Rose and Will Swaim Edited by Steve Lowery and Chris Ziegler Photos by James Bunoan...

    on November 18, 2004
  • Article

    The Big Nowhere - Why does so much good music come from this place?

    It's 1963, and all I know of Orange County is it's a place you drive through to get to El Cajon. That's where my Uncle Ty is, while we're living in a weed-blown tract in La Puente. It's not the best of times--dinner is ground round, powdered milk an...

    by JIM WASHBURN on November 18, 2004
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    Things to Come - The Second Civil War and Beyond

    UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN LIVING IN MONASTICseclusion in recent weeks, you've surely heard all about Red vs. Blue, the mega-budget sci-fi spectacular that's sweeping the nation. You can rush out to see it or stay where you are and wait for it to find you, ...

    by GREG STACY on November 18, 2004
  • Article

    Why Im Great - Ayn Rand Is a Sociopath

    "In regard to Jolene of Lake Forest," wrote my new pal Leah, "she can go fuck herself." Leah went on to say many deliciously delightful things, things about me, many of which included the prospect of street riots should I ever get canned and which I...

    by REBECCA SCHOENKOPF on November 18, 2004
  • Article

    The House That Tiki Built

    Photo by James BunoanTustin: Four-bedroom, three-bath house in the Lemon Heights area Occupants: Josh Agle, Glendele Way-Agle, Zoey Agle, Zach Agle and Baxter the dog Paid: $735,000 in 2002 Seeing as how Shag the Artist is stylisticallystuck i...

    by THEO DOUGLAS on November 18, 2004
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