9 Reasons to Be Happy K-Rod is Leaving the Angels
Even more important than the Angels keeping Mark Teixeira - hey, it's not like the LAofA isn't already loaded with power hitters, right? -- was keeping record-breaking closer Francisco Rodriguez, or "K-Rod" as the kids and Bizzaro World Madonna call him. But now that the right-handed flame thrower has split for New Yawk, good riddance, already.
Hey, K-Rod, have fun coasting on those ninth inning leads courtesy of the Angels starters, other relievers and Scot Shields now that you've got that stellar Mets relieving corps and -- what is it? -- two decent starters ahead of you.
Indeed, K-Rod's departure helps the Halos:
-Save money by keeping the juice turned off on Mike Scioscia's defibrillator
-Save Angels Stadium seats for real fans as fantasy league geeks split for the Big Crapple
-Save time cleaning the locker room because La Migra will toss it only half as often
-Save Jose Arredondo from having to hear he's the next K-Rod, seeing as how he probably is
-Save the arm of the chick holding the radar gun since she will be holding it up for less time thanks to a closer with more velocity (heh-heh)
-Save the arm of the chick holding the radar gun since she will be holding it up less often thanks to a closer who throws fewer balls
-Save Mickey Hatcher from having to make as much small talk in broken Spanglish
-Save our brains from having to hear another stupid Madonna joke
-Save $37 million over three years, but of course
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Orange County, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.