Today is the scheduled launch of the first vibrator into space.
T-minus grrrr . . .
Unfortunately, our original post on this space oddity left readers . . . gulp . . . dangling. Because once the throbbing sex toy returns from orbit, no doubt covered in sticky cosmic debris, someone is going to want to use it to boldly go where starlets in Shatner's trailer have gone before. After the jump, five marketing slogans aimed at soliciting the highest bid for the first use of the freshly earthbound stick.
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First, here's that earlier post:
Now, the marketing slogans:
Let the first vibrator in space put you over the moon.
We came for a piece.
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Th-th-th-th-that's one-one-one sma-sma-sma-sma-smallllll st-st-st-st-step forrrrrr
ma-ma-ma-ma-man, one-one-one gi-gi-gi-gi-giant rep-rep-rep-rep-replica
of-of-of ma-ma-ma-ma-manhood.
“Set your phasers to sexy time” OR “I use my Seven at Nine” OR “Is that a Deep Space Nine in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
“We put the Buzz in Aldrin.”
Surely you space cadets out there have better ones to leave in the comments section . . .
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.