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5 Reasons You Missed Navel Gazing, Starring Chris Dorner, Mike Carona and Meth Lovers

Blog goes underwater.
Blog goes underwater.

As Gustavo revealed, it was impossible for us Navel Gazers to gaze at our navels since Thursday afternoon . . .

Gremlins Attack OC Weekly Website!

But that did not stop the more hopeful among us from writing blog posts all day Friday in case we were suddenly online again. History shows we were not, so after the jump are capsules of the top 5 posts you missed from this virtual-ink-stained wretch.

CHRIS DORNER GOES TO BOSTON
The drama in Big Bear, before the drama in Boston.
The drama in Big Bear, before the drama in Boston.

Cable news reporters covering the quickly unfolding drama in Massachusetts evoke another name besides those of Dzhokhar and (now dead) Tamerlan Tsarnaev. It's none other than . . . drum roll, please . . . Christopher Dorner. Taking the lives of innocent civilians, massive manhunts, targeting cops while on the run and sounds from intense firefights in Boston and SoCal are compared by talking heads mentioning the former La Palma resident. As LAPD Chief Charlie Beck did in February, the Massachusetts state police chief said on live TV Friday that the fugitive Tsarnaev should stop any more bloodshed, drop his weapons and turn himself in. But Tom Fuentes, not the deceased chairman emeritus of the OC GOP but a former FBI deputy director-turned-CNN talking head, believed the 19-year-old would likely try to take out some cops before his own violent end "like Chris Dorner."

SURF CITY BOOM-BOOMS
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Talk about the absolute worst timing: with horrific sounds and images of the Boston bombings fresh in everyone's minds, Huntington Beach residents are greeted Thursday afternoon by two acid bombs exploding. The Orange County Sheriff's Department bomb squad later detonated a third boom-boom maker near Seventh Street and Pacific Coast Highway. No injuries, property damage or suspects were reported. Meanwhile, three suspicious packages feared to be bombs in a Del Taco parking lot in Fullerton turned out to be harmless, police there said Friday. The only remaining explosive devices there were half-pound bean and cheese burritos.


 
AMERICA'S INCARCERATED SHERIFF
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Orange County sheriff-turned-"America's Sheriff"-turned felon Michael Carona, who got 5.5 years in a Colorado federal pen in 2009 for witness tampering, settled two workers' compensation cases for more than $37,000. That's NOT money the crook has to pay back for his wear and tear on justice but money paid to him for back, hip and leg injuries he suffered in 2005 and cumulative wear and tear during his 32-year law enforcement career. And, yes, that's on top of the $218,000 we're lavishing on him yearly. A judge OK'd the settlement last year, but the

Orange County Register

just discovered the court documents (and reported them behind that fabled pay wall; otherwise, we'd link you).

A COUPLE THAT DEALS METH TOGETHER . . .
Chad-McCluskey_Kristen-Laschober_Playa-Del Carmen_chadthomas.smugmug.com.jpg
chadthomas.smugmug.com

The Orange County meth distributors caught up in the crazy case of a cross-dressing, sex-shop-owning, drug-dealing Roman Catholic priest in Connecticut have pleaded guilty to federal drug conspiracy charges in U.S. District Court in Hartford. Chad McCluskey, 43, of San Clemente, and his girlfriend Kristen Laschober, 47, of Laguna Niguel, could get up to 10 years in prison at their scheduled Aug. 8 sentencing. But first, the judge on Thursday ordered their release to an inpatient drug treatment center. The love birds had sent four pounds of methamphetamine to Father Kevin Wallin, the removed Bridgeport, Conn., parish priest who pleaded guilty earlier this month to federal drug counts that could have him praying in prison for 11 to 14 years.

RON PAULIANS ARE ALL WET
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Young Americans for Liberty
Scene from a student debt dunk by the YAL chapter at Auburn University in Alabama.

Young Americans for Liberty was formed after Ron Paul's failed 2008 presidential bid, but the group is still going strong, with chapters around the U.S. In fact, members of UC Irvine's YAL set themselves up to be dunked in water at Saturday's annual Wayzgoose Festival ("Celebrate UCI"). It was not to give in to the wishes of every non-YAL on campus but to protest rising student debt. Of UCI YALs in graduation garb as dunk-tank targets, Richard Pham, the Irvine chapter president and third year History and Environmental Science major explained, "Everyone knows about homeowners whose mortgages are underwater. We're here to show people that now students are graduating underwater on their college loans with limited job opportunities to pay back these extraordinary debts." Welcome to the club, kiddies.

Email: mcoker@ocweekly.com. Twitter: @MatthewTCoker. Follow OC Weekly on Twitter @ocweekly or on Facebook!


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