August 13, 2010 | 10:00am
We're well into the last half of the Major League Baseball season, and if you've been paying attention to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim recently, you'll know they haven't been playing their best.
There have been a few players worth noting (Hint: his name rhymes with Gered Beaver), but there's been little else to make this a season worth remembering.
So here's a list of everything that has gone absolutely wrong so far in the 2009 season, from those partly responsible for the Angels blowup to catastrophic blunders that made the Rally Monkey turn to the sauce for comfort.
Reason #5: Their offseason moves were terrible
For awhile at least, the Angels' front office has had a perplexing inability to hold onto their big-name stars. Letting Mark Teixeira
A-ha! That explains it! He's letting himself go!
"Blow" meaning they suck, not that they do drugs. The criticism might be blunt, but there's a lot of Angels players who are really stinkin' up the clubhouse right now. Juan Rivera
If it's not already apparent enough, the Halos are hexed. Kendry Morales would not tell you otherwise. Neither would Dan Haren, who, fortunately, is still healthy after getting hit on the wrist by a line drive in his very first start as an Angel. Still, the near injury was a bad omen in a season of bad omens.
Even so, things seemed peachy right after Morales went down on May 29; the Angels had one of their best winning streaks of the season, winning 8-of-9. But the wins inevitably slowed down, and the Halos pretty much hit the cellar this month. If things start getting desperate enough, maybe they'll start calling it "The Curse of the Cuban."
Some of these critiques of Anaheim's one-and-only ball club might have been a tad overblown. After all, at least Orange County doesn't have to root for the Baltimore Orioles
. Oh wait, the Orioles just swept the Angels to start August . . . maybe it's time for another martini with the Rally Monkey.