Having already been played out on the sand, in the media and at the courthouse, state park rangers' crackdown on sunbathers who let it all hang out on a secluded stretch of beach off San Onofre's Trail 6 has taken a most stinky turn.
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The nudists, who prefer to be called naturists, say rangers purposely
buried the rotting carcass of sea lion not where it washed up but at the clothing-optional beach, creating a
gawdawful smell. The rangers counter they just happened to dig the shallow grave–complete with a black fin sticking out of the ground–at the nude
beach they've fought mightily to de-nude.
The rangers say simply wanted to let “nature” happen, according to a piece in the Orange County Register. Nature vs. naturists. It's come to this. But surely the rangers could come up with other smelly things to bury at Trail 6 to further drive off the quiet, peaceful, not-hurting-anyone nekkid people. (By the way, who sunbathes with suits on, let alone without them, in January?)
Here are five stink-inducers for park rangers:
Albatross, get your bloody seabirds here!
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Offshore algae blooms
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Sauerkraut and kimchi casserole
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This lady's cats
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My shoes after I've been to the beach
OC Weekly Editor-in-Chief Matt Coker has been engaging, enraging and entertaining readers of newspapers, magazines and websites for decades. He spent the first 13 years of his career in journalism at daily newspapers before “graduating” to OC Weekly in 1995 as the alternative newsweekly’s first calendar editor.