Photo by Victor Gonzalez
Ultra Music Festival is a zoo.
From land sharks to killer whales, pink flamingos to African zebras, UMF 2013 is starting to feel a lot like a World Wildlife Foundation fundraiser, complete with endangered species and cuddly critters.
Sure, they're inflatable. But try explaining that to someone rolling face. After all, it was in downtown Miami where a young woman dry-humped a tree before ultimately slapping it for reasons unknown last year during Ultra.
Attention, ravers: The inflatable chimp won't hurt you! He is your friend. He loves you. He loves everybody.
Check out some of our favorite inflatable props at Ultra 2013.
See also: The 13 Funniest Raver GIFs at Ultra
Like a fish out of water (or in this case a mammal), a killer whale has no business at Ultra. But it's mating season, and these bros are taking full advantage of Shamu's flukes.
Fact: Zebras are safer at Ultra than they are in Africa. Stop poaching, assholes!
Don't let the mustache fool you, cacti can be a real pain in the ass. Especially if you sit on one.
Want to stick out at Ultra? It'll take a lot more than a 12-year-old girl's Hello Kitty birthday balloon. Nice try, homie.
The thing about chimps, they'll literally rip your face off. (Graphic audio)
Don't hassle the Hoff, beat freaks.
Gregg Gillis of Girl Talk wants his boat back.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
This chick's depressed because he knows that once Ultra runs out of turkey legs, he's next. Nom. Nom. Nom.
In other news, flamingos have gone missing from Hialeah Park.
If you're going to be the only person at Ultra with an umbrella, it may as well have eyes on it.