Tom Segura Talks Babies, Bears and Where The Dudes At

Tom Segura Talks Babies, Bears and Where The Dudes At

Valentine's Day may be all about love and all of that mushy stuff to some people but this February 14th, why not make it a fun one by checking out the pure comedic genius that is Tom Segura. Will it be a romantic show? Not so much. Will it be hilarious? Oh for sure! If you and your honey (or your friends, no pressure here!) like to laugh and are into "real talk," then this is a show you don't want to miss at the Brea Improv. Hey, laughter sometimes leads to sex so who may just get lucky. I mean, if shit talking and talking shit turns you on. We're not here to judge.

OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): When I was digging for dirt on you I noticed that you don't have a Wikipedia page. What's up with that?

Tom Segura: No I do not. I'm not gonna build one but people e-mail me and ask me about it. One day I guess it will just be there, or it won't.

I mean, you're mentioned on several other people's so...

Yeah I know! It's on some peoples and it's on Christina's like, she's married to comedian Tom Segura but then that's it.

Well that's clearly your finest accomplishment so congrats on that!

That is! I am most proud of that accomplishment.

So sweet. Now you've lived and traveled all over but did you go to Afghanistan too?

No I didn't. But I did do Guantanamo Bay a few years ago. People always think it's a prison but it's actually a huge Naval base and there is like 25,000- 30,000 enlisted people there. It was a crazy experience. I have favorite cities that I love to perform in though. I love doing Vancouver, Denver, San Francisco, New York. I did Melbourne last year and I love Australia! I can't wait to go back there.

Have you ever done a show somewhere that you thought afterwards, never again?

I haven't had one of those in a while but I've definitely eaten shit. I did a show in Erie once that I hated. It wasn't because of the crowd or the material though. It was just the management insisted on keeping it so clean. I was like, you guys are taking all of the fun out of it! It was just not fun to do.

But you are at the point now where you can pick and choose right?

Oh yeah! Now I would just not accept that! When I did it, I just needed the gig. At this point I'd be like, you can go fuck yourself and I would totally emphasis the work fuck so they'd know I am not clean at all.

Fair enough. So we share another love beside dirty comedy and that is the Wu-Tang Clan. When'd you get into the Wu?

You can't go wrong with the Wu. They introduced a new style to hip-hop and you've gotta respect that. They're the equivalent of like, Nirvana. They changed everything, they're just so good. When I heard their first single on Yo MTV Raps I was like, what the fuck is this? That was when they all had white masks on. I think they're awesome.

Agreed! How'd you get linked in with Deathsquad?

Honestly it was just from Joe Rogan. I won a contest to do stand-up and the prize was you get to open for Joe Rogan, Charlie Murphy, and John Heffron. It was like six or seven years ago. So I got to open for them in like, three cities for like literally three minutes. So one day like, a year later I get a call from Joe Rogan and he was like, "Do you want to open for me next week?" I was like, is this real? Then we became friends and I started working for him a bunch and that led me into getting in with Redban and that was it.

And the rest is history! I like how you guys travel around together and support the cause.

Yeah me too. I think about how so many comics don't do that and if they did, how it would change their approach to the road. The thing about the road that sucks is the traveling and sometimes your lonely and don't even acknowledge it. When you bring your friends, it becomes a fun experience. That's basically what those guys have done. You hit the road with your friends and it's a fun time.

How would you describe your podcast "Your Moms House" for those who have never heard it?

That's a great question, I wish I was more prepared for that. It's a married couple that is really silly and they talk the way real people talk. When you see married people on sitcoms as you know, it's anything but real. So, it's two comics who are silly and talk about anything and everything.

So I think the question that is on everyone's mind is, where the dudes at?

[Laughs.] Casey knows, but he refuses to let us know. You know, it's something we've built up on the podcast in the nonsense that we do. It is something that I've been getting e-mails about but unfortunately, I can't come through with an answer because Casey won't say anything. There is nothing better than creating something really nonsensical on a podcast and having people really get into it. I like making nonsense grow, that's really my favorite.

Are you working on any new comedy shorts?

I just shot another one with Ryan Sicker that'll be out in a couple months. I love making shorts. I hate producing them although you're forced to sometimes but I love acting in them, writing them, and I love directing them. Two Bears in a Cave is what Bert Kreischer and I decided we're going to call our pilot. It's about two heavy fat, bearded, gay guys. They just do everything together that two guys would want to do.

Will there be a bathtub scene in it?

You know now that you've mentioned it, there should be one.

And your sister just had a guys get "baby fever?"

Yes she did have a baby! How'd you know that?

I was at the hospital, I held the baby! Seriously though, hello? You mentioned it on podcast!

[Laughs.] Oh yeah! Yes, I'm really excited about that! I love it. I definitely want kids one day. It's the first grandkid in my immediate family and I'm super excited.

I was talking to Christina about when you guys have a kid and she gets morning sickness...

Oh my god. She can't even stand audio of vomiting so it's going to be really interesting when she throws up. She hasn't thrown up one time in our years together! Not one time! I mean, I've thrown up at least five times since we've been together! Probably more!

Amazingly gross and interesting. So have you guys talked about names should you happen to have a baby? I mean, you have so many names for each other.

I really love the name Craphonso but I don't know if she'll let that one go. I heard of a football player named Craphonso Thorpe and I was like, holy shit! The first four letters of his name is crap, but it's still a name. It really amused me so I'm really pushing for that.

I like it. I mean, I sorta like it. That poor kid.

[Laughs.] It's not terrible, I think it's a good name.

So your show is on Valentine's Day...any thoughts of renaming it "The V.D." show?

You know, that's a really good idea. It goes in line in with what we do. V.D. is totally us.

Is your lovely wife Christina going to be with you as well?

Oh yeah definitely. That's the whole show. It's us two. It'll be a really fun night. I feel like people try to make Valentines more than what it should be. It should just be a fun time to go and hang out. I mean, if you want to have your romantic dinner then that's on you but we're just going to make jokes about our genitals.

Get your tickets now to see Tom Segura tomorrow the Brea Improv at See more of Tom on his website where you can pick up the "Moms House Super Mommy Pack" and get your very own "Where The Dude's At?" t-shirt! Check out his hysterical podcast Your Moms House at and follow Tom on Twitter @TomSegura. The Improv is located at 120 South Brea Blvd. Brea.

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