The Mythos of the Aquabats

The Battletram
Tim Melideo

Once upon a time, there was an island called Aquabania. It was an idyllic paradise, where people surfed all day, chillaxed and ate food all night. Its natives wasted their lives on music, TV, the Internet and other worthless forms of entertainment. When there was no food, the people didn't stress out; they ate sand. One day, Space Monster M—the enemy of all things awesome and fun—assembled a group of the most sinister evil-doers in the world and attacked Aquabania. Members of the Aquabats escaped via hollowed-out log, ending up in Southern California. They were found by Professor Monty Corndog, who took them in and nursed them back to health. The professor was so moved by the tale of the Aquabanian refugees that he resolved to help them fight Space Monster M. Using science, he gave them superpowers to battle evil, as well as rock & roll instruments to gain fans and amass an army to help in their fight against evil. Thus, the Aquabats, the first "all-crime-fighting, all-surfing rock supergroup in history," were born. The Aquabats are on a never-ending quest to right wrongs, destroy boredom and seek justice for all! (Especially the kids!)

That's the story we've been able to gather from various liner notes, Internet message boards and Wikipedia, as concisely as we could manage. The details are mostly skewed and contradictory, and only the major events (fleeing Aquabania in a log, amassing superpowers and fighting crime) have been consistent through the years.

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