Let the big men do the celebrating.
Let the big men do the celebrating.
Christopher Victorio

The Five Douchiest Sports Injuries According to Jay Mohr

Jay Mohr rips it up on the stand-up stage and on the big and small screen but really, by now you already knew that so we won't go on and on. Hopefully by now you also know that Mohr is the man when it comes to sports, hence why his show "Jay Mohr Sports" on Fox Sports Radio has been such a huge hit. Since he has an upcoming show at the Irvine Improv this weekend (October 3rd through 5th), we decided to collide his worlds by hitting him up for his picks on the "Top Five Douchiest Sports Injuries." We knew that Jay would have no problem highlighting the humor of the arrogant souls in this list so grab your tickets to his show (seriously, what are you waiting for?) and check out what our buddy Jay had to say.

The Five Douchiest Sports Injuries According to Jay Mohr
Getty, @GioG47 on Instagram, BLS Illustration

5- Gio Gonzalez

Washington Nationals pitcher Gio Gonzalez actually missed a start because he had severe rug burn on his face. He was wrestling with his dog and he said "it got out of hand." I'm picturing a dog in a singlet. I dig it. If you do decide to wrestle your dog, I am fairly certain you are supposed to not only win, but dominate. No dog should be able to give you rug burns on your face. Except for maybe a Pomeranian/Husky mix.

The Five Douchiest Sports Injuries According to Jay Mohr

4- Joseph Fauria

Joseph Fauria, who is a tight end for the Detroit Lions, is currently walking around in a boot because he sprained his ankle chasing his Pomeranian/Husky mix puppy while trying to potty training it. I don't care at all about the injury. I'm too obsessed with which dog was on top.

3- Marty Cordova

Marty Cordova was a journeyman outfielder but his injury happened to him while playing for the Minnesota Twins. Marty Cordova had to miss a few games in the middle of the season not because of a broken rib, a torn ACL, or even a sprained thumb. No. Marty Cordova had to miss several Major League Baseball games because he fell asleep in a tanning bed which led to horrible burns on his face. Uh, Marty? Doesn't the team provide you with your very own baseball cap? Pull it down next time.

2- Bill Gramática

Bill Gramática tore his ACL celebrating while he was a member of the Arizona Cardinals. Another guy getting injured after a big play, right? WRONG! He's a kicker. As in the little dude's that rock mullets and smell like Drakkar Noir Cologne and never catch, tackle, or throw the ball. Football is a man's game. Let the big men do the celebrating. (Unless they're on the Lions and doing the Discount Double Check.) By the way, the play being celebrated wasn't even a field goal. It was an extra point. As in one point! Final tally- 1 point. 1 ACL tear.

1- Stephen Tulloch

We've all see Aaron Rodgers on television doing his "Discount Double Check" commercials. A couple weeks ago, Stephen Tulloch tore his ACL after he sacked Aaron Rodgers and mocked him by doing the "discount double check" sign after the sack. I guess he's with Geico.

See also: Steve-O Found a Way to Work Manginas Into His Stand-Up Comedy 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time 10 Douchiest Drummers of All Time

Check out Jay Mohr at the Irvine Improv October 3rd through 5th, 31 Fortune Drive Irvine, CA 92618, (949) 854-5455. For tickets go to www.Improv.com. For more info, go to his website www.JayMohr.com, tune into Mohr Stories and Jay Mohr Sports on Fox Sports Radio, and be sure to follow him on Twitter @JayMohr37.

Follow us on Twitter @OCWeeklyMusic and like us on Facebook at Heard Mentality and follow the author on Twitter @AliNotAlli.


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