Humping the shark! Photo courtey the Barstow Boyz
Humping the shark! Photo courtey the Barstow Boyz

So Many Bad Songs

The Barstow Boyz are to good taste what Kevin Federline is to good taste. Which is to say they wouldn't recognize it if it were a boat in their driveway. But unlike K-Fed, the Boyz, who serve up an impressive roster of butt-rock gems, are highly talented. Too bad they're currently engaged in a struggle with their demons—and losing.

OC Weekly: It's been a while since we've heard from the Barstow Boyz. Where have you been?

Rim Morrison (vocals): We were all in rehab for 10 months but we decided with the holidays coming up we were going to all fall off the wagon. We did that two weeks ago in Tucumcari, New Mexico, or Puke-umcari in my case. From there it was Flagstaff, Tucson, Needles, then a stop in Costa Mesa at this shitty Sizzler place called La Cave.

How was it?

We got accused of being not professional. I was very happy to hear that. I was like, 'Finally somebody gets it.'

And yet it takes you three hours to get your voice ready for a show. How do you prepare?

I have a little Sanskrit tablet that I read and then I do my Ashtanga for an hour and then an hour of Pechanga and then I hem and haw and then I put my diaphragm in and that takes at least two hours and then it's all scales.

Do you consider yourself a cover band?

Yeah, absolutely. By the time our audience leaves they're thoroughly covered . . . in our DNA.

Disgusting. How do you choose the material?

We try to stay away from the sort of like woo-hoo! '80s stuff because I hate the '80s and they sucked and they suck even worse now. We try to cover that period from '78 through '82 that was back when having a mustache wasn't something everyone wore to be ironic—this was what you did if you were a man. You had dolphin shorts, a gold chain, a little bit of an afro going on. You were proud to have a Wyland painting on your wall and you made that trip to Lahaina a couple times a year. We look back on that fondly and we want to make sure that's represented.

What songs are you going to be playing at Detroit?

The finest rock to grow a mustache by, and the finest rock to ride mustaches by. We like to think of our audience like mushrooms basically: feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark until it's time.

You're playing a special Thanksgiving eve show. Who would have been more into the Barstow Boyz: the pilgrims or the Indians?

The Indians would actually be into us because their spirits inhabit us. So they're actually in us, but I think the old black hats would be into us too. They disrespected women like we do.

And you're calling your show the 'jump the brown shark' show?

We're either going to hump or jump the brown shark because we're going to cross new thresholds of shittiness.

Why don't you just write your own shitty songs?

Why spend the energy? People just want to be entertained these days, so why write songs when there's so many bad ones out there that we can make good by playing them? That gives us more time to live the lifestyle and practice the moves. You do get yourself into long layoffs and trouble but I think we're all right now.

Do you ever tire of the lifestyle?

If anything, the lifestyle is very tired of us.



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