PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

The image of downtown Fullerton over the past several years has come to represent something very specific in the mind of the average weekend reveler. One could even argue that DTF is not as much of a place anymore as it is a state of mind--one you must strengthen through years of social irresponsibility, er, training. Because you can't go into the wild west of  the North County bar scene all willy-nilly. Every Friday and Saturday night, the gauntlet of cramped clubs, tattoo parlors, drunk bros, douche bag bouncers, and ticket-happy police officers awaits. Luckily, we've learned a few ways to help you  enjoy your sloshed, reprehensible activities like a pro in OC's favorite bastion of low-budget excess. See our full DTF slideshow nd see our mini survival guide to DTF after after the jump.

See Also:
* Photos: Why Downtown Fullerton Sucks on Friday and Saturday nights
*BLOK Headlines an Extra-Spooky Edition of Plugged Into Local at Alex's Bar, Oct. 24
*2J's Cocktail Lounge Goes Country, Apparently it Brings in the Chicks

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

In L.A., you need to be famous or super hot to cross the velvet ropes. In DTF, to get past the bright-orange line dividers and cut in front of a bunch of people, you pretty much just have to be a girl.
PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

Is it possible to floss a little hard while standing outside a club that's adjacent to a Wahoo's Fish Taco? Pitbull and Ricky Martin don't seem to think so.

 

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

If you find yourself in need of assistance from one of the many (MANY) Fullerton lawmen on patrol in DTF, it's best to approach him barefoot. Every cop loves a drunken, barefooted damsel in distress.

 

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

This bar may be carpeted with peanut shells but as long as you're dressed to kill and showin' some leg, pretend it's Le Deux.

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

When you're a cougar competing for attention with women half your age, a little ass play never hurts. Side note: Did we just spot that Ryan Reno from Roman Alexander and the Robbery?


 
PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

Always get your Hepatitis C shots BEFORE you get to the club. In case this happens...

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

If you wanna get caught milling around like a drunkass after closing time in the courtyard next to Zings/ Brannigans/ The Back Alley, you should remember to carry a bar of soap in your back pocket because you'll probably be spending the night in jail.
 

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

In the event you catch two females lezzing out on a nearby bench, don't be a perve.Look once and then give 'em some privacy.


PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

Find a friend who knows what the phrase "Pull my hair back" means.

 

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

When a bouncer needs two flashlights to clear out a crowd, it just means he hates his job twice as much.

 

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

Get all the piss out of your system well before closing time, or else you'll find yourself backed up in more ways than one.

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

Of course this is always an option...

 

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

Calling yourself a cab is only half the battle.

PHOTOS: How to Survive a Saturday Night in Downtown Fullerton
LP Hastings / OC Weekly

If you've got the munchies after a night of ass chasing and beer drinking, you'll need to find out where Alberto's is and get you some Mexican food for the ride home. Del Taco will work in a pinch. We don't know why this guy got a hot dog. He must be new.

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