Lisa Lampanelli Gives Us a Little Relationship Therapy
I'm really lucky that people get it.
Hold the phones people because your plans for Friday night have just been made! The Queen Lisa Lampanelli has a brand new special called "Back to the Drawing Board" and it's premiering June 26th on EPIX. Bringing her signature sharp tongue to the stage for raunch filled banter and racial insults galore, she's also killing it with truths about her recent divorce, weight loss, and dating at this juncture in her life. Since she gives so much of her real self in the new special, we wanted to hear a little more about her new path to see if we could apply it to our own lives. Turns out, LL is pretty great at giving advice and we ended up getting somewhat of a free therapy session...and maybe you will too.
OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): So I watched your special and it's AMAZING! Bravo!
Lisa Lampanelli: Oh thank you! Yeah, I kind of like it a lot. You never know how it's going to come out until it's all put together and I like the mixture of material. I told more stories about my life this time so it was a lot cooler.
This isn't an age dig but, I notice that as comics get older they start to weave in more life stories. It's really cool for the fans.
Yeah it's almost like we age and start knowing what's more important. I feel like for me, over the past year, I wanted to show people who I really am rather than just skate around it. I figured hey, weight loss struggles, divorce...might as well put it all in!
This is so cheeseball but it's great because it can actually help and inspire people. Like, if you can do it, we can too.
I think so too because it's not hitting you over the head in a forceful kind of way. I hope some people will come away from it going, it's no less funny than her other stuff. And then other people will come away from it like, I can lose weight and admit that I still have to work on myself. If I can admit all of my faults, then people start to look at theirs too I think.
Oh for sure! I also really love the honesty in your list at the end.
I think the reason it got a little deeper, without getting too deep is, when I worked on the one person show about my weight struggle I realized that people will except funny and stories at the same time. The thing at the end where I read a list of my faults, my shrink told me I have to look within to see what I bring to the table and don't bring to the table in relationships. I was like, OK! Here's my list of real shit that goes wrong!
It seems like finding a new relationship is harder the older you get because you know what you will and won't accept.
But also, it's our fault all along because we're the ones who put ourselves in relationships that weren't right for us and instead of taking a year break in-between relationships, we just jump into something else out of insecurity. Codependency is not something to look at others for, it's something to look at ourselves for and go, why did I feel the need to tie myself up with people who weren't right? I also get it because I dated from 13 to 53 almost without a break and this is the first time I've been like, I'm alone and I wouldn't change a thing. And not out of hating men or anything but more so out of, I need to work on me so I can be an amazing human being to somebody else.I should make a list like you did because sometimes for me, I don't even want to try and that's kinda sucky.
I think what it usually is with women is that we go from one guy to another, blame them for it not working out when it was half our fault, and then we take a year off and "don't hate being single." So whereas in the past I didn't "hate being single," this is the first time I love it and this is the first time I don't want to go back into something unless it's so destined and so right. Right now I feel like if I was single for the rest of my life, I'd be grateful for what I do have. I think it will all come in good time. Once you figure out how to really do it and make it work, it'll be really cool.
Boom! Advice taken! Maybe should I ask a shrink why sometimes I'm fine and then on the flipside I'm like, where is this guy already?
That guy isn't going to show up until you really do you. And I get it, I really do. With Jimmy the reason I was attracted to him was because he made me feel safe and he was such a good guy. I picked well, I just didn't pick well for me. When you find yourself going, I'm so lucky without even trying to feel lucky, then you're really growing. It always comes eventually. I don't think there's anything wrong with going to a shrink about it though because your happiness needs to come from inside, not out. And if it comes from a man, it's outer. You'll do it. If you want to conquer it you will. It's all learning and growing.
Ohhh you're just dropping knowledge on me! I love it!
Right? [Laughs.] I love that stuff. I feel like my goals have shifted so much in life and people can learn from my mistakes. I really love talking about this kind of stuff because we all feel it. We feel like we're in it for the right reasons, for the wrong reasons, and really, if anyone can learn from my stupidity and it's therapeutic for them, I'm happy about that. A year ago I didn't think I'd be making jokes about this but now, you really do look back and laugh. And that's how you get through to people. I honestly feel like whoever is meant to hear it will hear it. I'm really lucky that people get it.
It's such a trip that you're this beast on-stage I wouldn't want to fuck with but in real life, you're so laid back.
I think I learned from guys like Rickles that you can do whatever you want on that stage as long as you're cool in real life. When you're a nice person, people will let you get away with anything. I'm really lucky that I had those role models to learn from.
Well in my opinion the #1 thing that makes you cool is that you go so hard unapologetically.
If I really do things with the right intentions, I feel like the right people will get it. I mean, I can't go for someone else's standards. I'm too old to change for those people. I feel like I know what I'm doing and if I can answer to myself in the mirror at the end of night, I'm alright. I've been doing this twenty-five years and I don't know why people think it's getting more "PC" lately. It's always been terrible but I haven't let it affect me. I don't do things that way. And I can't get fired because I don't have a job, so it's perfect!
Be sure to tune into EPIX on Friday, June 26 at 7pm (PST) for Lisa Lampanelli's new special, "Back to the Drawing Board." You can also see LL at Club Nokia Saturday July 18th by getting tickets at www.axs.com. For more info, check out her website www.InsultComic.com, become a fan on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter @LisaLampanelli.
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