My never-ending quest to have fun in the middle of the week led me to karaoke at Alex's Bar last night. The room wasn't packed, but there were plenty of people for a Tuesday around midnight.
After watching a few decent singers romp through tunes such as "Rapper's Delight," "Seven Nation Army" and "This is How We Do It," I took mental notes as to what not to do when you're rocking the karaoke mic.
1. Just because you know the chorus doesn't mean you know the song. The aforementioned singers all knew the entire song, which not only helped with our listening pleasure, but kept the embarrassment factor to a minimum. Yes, "Whole Lotta Love" is a great tune, but there's more to it than repeating, "I gotta whole lotta love."
2. No duets for songs that aren't duets. If you and/or your friend can't bare the thought of standing alone on a stage with the sound of your voice being pumped back at you, then maybe karaoke's not for you.
3. Never agree to sing a song your friend signed you up for, especially if your friend won't tell you what song you're singing until the words start scrolling on the screen. I dig "Paradise City" as much as the next guy/gal, but maybe I've been making bedroom eyes at a female and would prefer "Let's Get It On" and then out of nowhere I've got to channel my inner Axl Rose? I don't think so.
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4. If you don't think you've had enough to drink, you're right. When the jock says you're next, pound that motherfucker and get your gameface on. Which leads me to No. 5...
5. If you're sober, karaoke isn't not only not for you, it's not for the rest of us non-sober people who have to watch you. Let's face it: No one in their right mind wants to sing in front of strangers. That's the worst thing ever. But with a few drinks, we're all Sinatra. You sober folks, on the other hand, you're taking thing waaaaaaay too seriously. This brings us to No. 6...
6. If you're talented, save it for the shower. Karaoke's for people who can't sing. When you hit the high octave in Mariah Carey's "Dream Lover," you're crushing a tiny portion of every other patron in the bar.
That's all for now. I reserve the right to add to this list whenever I desire. Feel free to add more comments if you think I'm missing a few.