Jonas Brothers' Screaming Teen Fans to Overrun Saddleback Church Easter Service?

OC Weekly - Staff | Posted on


The holy rollers running Lake Forest's Saddleback (mega) Church might have just fucked up big time–or made the most genius PR move of all time. Their April 4 Easter/30th Anniversary Service at Angel Stadium of Anaheim could amount to the kind of embarrassing disaster usually reserved for Catholics and their pederast priests. On Easter Sunday, Saddleback star pastor Rick Warren will have to compete for attention with superstars the Jonas Brothers, and, really, even if Jesus himself made an appearance in Anaheim it probably wouldn't compare with a JoBros sighting. 

Seriously, this could be awesome. Warren up there rambling about the importance of the resurrection (and tithing, as always, of course) while teenage girls filled with lusty thoughts about Nick, Joe and Kevin drown out the pastor's words with their horny screams. The Jonas Brothers have sold out venues the size of Angel Stadium before so it wouldn't exactly be a miracle if virtually every person in attendance came with nothing more in mind than to see their totally favorite, posters-on-the-bedroom-wall, boy band. 
Then again, returning to this actually being genius, how else do you get gaggles of teen girls to give a shit about Jesus and all His rules and eternal salvation (and someday giving their hard-earned money to rich ass Pastor Warren)? 

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Here's the “Looking for a place to celebrate Easter?”  Saddleback blog post from March 1:

Get your Easter bonnet ready because Easter comes early this year, Sunday, April 4th.  We are holding our Easter Service and our Saddleback Church 30th Year Celebration all at the same time at Angel Stadium.  This is unlike any Easter Service we've ever held.  We'll have as our special guests the Jonas Bros., inspiring worship, and Pastor Rick will take a memorable look back at where we've been as a church, and most importantly, talk about the future. 

So put on your Easter bonnet and bring the entire family, your friends, neighbors, co-workers, come and enjoy this very special Easter Service.

Blessings,

Bonnie

Well, “Bonnie,” we might just take you up on the offer. Or avoid Anaheim like a syphilitic hooker because the meeting of these two (or three) superpowers–Warren, JoBros (and, who knows, Jesus)–should cause a biblically proportioned stoppage of traffic. 

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