Joey Diaz Smokes Weed That'll Make You See The Devil

I would smoke weed whether it was legal or not.
I would smoke weed whether it was legal or not.
Jesse Grant

Some call him "Uncle Joey" and some call him "CoCo," but whatever you call comedian Joey Diaz, there's no doubt his brand of truth telling is always hilarious. On December 17, Diaz will be doing his popular podcast "The Church Of What's Happening Now" live from the Laugh Factory in Long Beach all in the name of lifting your spirit with laughter and before the big event goes down, we talked to him about it--as well as general topics like marijuana and "getting your shit together."

OC Weekly (Ali Lerman): Everyone knows that you're a big advocate of weed. How are you feeling about the current marijuana laws?

Joey Diaz: I'm gonna be honest with you, I would smoke weed whether it was legal or not. I don't give a fuck about that stuff. I've never had a weed shirt, I've never bought High Times...I've smoked weed since the eighth grade. I'm the last of the fucking professionals. I'd smoke it whether or not there was a license. When I travel I put it under my nut sack, in my shaving kit, or I mail it wherever I'm going. It's the weirdest thing because I've gotten away with it for years. I don't throw it in anybody's face but it's the truth. I'm not one of those people who goes to Weed-Con. I could give a Frenchman's fuck. People ask me what strain I'm smoking but I don't care. Every store has their own strain. I can't believe it's like that when it comes to weed. Some people vape and I'm like, if you don't cut it up with scissors and roll it in a paper, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You need a blow torch now to smoke weed? What is this fucking crack? What the fuck is wrong with these morons?

So true. Weed culture has really changed a lot over the years. When I smoked weed I never cared what the name of the strain was.

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Yeah! These people contact me with all sorts of stuff and I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. No wonder people's lives are fucked up. They're worried about this batch and that batch...I go to the store and I look the chick in the eyes and say, "I want the shit that makes you see the devil." I don't give a fuck about flavor. I just want that top shelf shit. I know more about weed then these fucking morons at the shops.

I'm sure you have no shortage of supply though right? I bet people always bring you weed to your shows.

Oh yeah. I've probably got three ounces in my desk right now but I smoke two grams and I gotta move on. That shit doesn't work for me anymore so I gotta restock it. I got some sticky shit from San Francisco that someone grew that was tremendous, I got another bag from Colorado that was tremendous...people bring me shit from all over. But they're like the girls at the weed store because what they don't understand is, I've been smoking for 30 fucking years.

What about edibles? Ralphie May gave me a Cheeba Chew once and I actually thought I was going to die. Like, I seriously imagined my obituary in the paper.

I'm down with the Cheeba Chew but I gotta alternate those too. I've already eaten two So Kind edibles today, that's how I roll. You have to switch it up when you've been doing this as long as I fucking have.


OK let's get off the pot and onto Twitter. I love how you turn the dirtiest shit I've ever heard into positivity. Namaste mother fuckers! Wash your balls!

Yeah! Listen, I don't know about you, but when I wake up in the morning...I'm a little cloudy. Everyone has doubts at 7:30 in the morning. A lot of people are thinking, "my life sucks, I hate my job, or why the fuck do I do this?" It's not until you get in the shower, had a little coffee, smoke a little joint or something that you realize, all of those doubts are bullshit. So whatever comes to my mind when I'm in the shower, I put it down. Every day I wake up I think about what I have to do and yeah, I'd rather stay the fuck home and smoke weed. I'm not special, I have doubts too. I think of all of the negative things I can think of but at some point it's time to strap in, wash your fucking pussy, get yourself together, and get the fuck out there. Why are you having those doubts? Grab your fucking balls, scratch them and sniff them, and see why god put you on this fucking planet. It wasn't to be a fucking pussy. Some days I get up and think, today's the day that everyone is going to suck my dick mentally because I'm in no mood. That's what I put down on that paper because getting yourself going is really important. People gotta get it together! It's what needs to be done!

Well I love it because I'm someone who needs the motivation and I love it being put to me cut and dry. I'm a big fan of your podcast so tell me what's up with the live version in Long Beach.

We changed the time of the podcast in the studio and our numbers have basically tripled and the live podcast is great because we just get fucking stoned and feed off of the audience. We'll wake up that morning and decide what to talk about. I don't like to talk about stuff that everyone else is talking about. That's number one. We do as much as we can. The podcast is a way of bringing it all to life for the Twitter and Facebook fans. It's a completion of the circle and it's a beautiful thing.

Grab your tickets to see Joey Diaz and "The Church Of What's Happening Now" live at Laugh Factory in Long Beach this Wednesday, December 17th, 151 S. Pine Ave. Long Beach, CA 90802, (562) 495-2844. For tickets go to and for more info, check out and follow him on Twitter @MadFlavor.

Follow us on Twitter @OCWeeklyMusic and like us on Facebook at Heard Mentality and follow the author on Twitter @AliNotAlli.

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